Behind The Scene

CHAPTER 33

The two-day window felt like it was lasting forever. I struggled to focus on anything other than the offer, and the possible outcomes of either decision that I could make. Jex Kendall was a big name in the industry, and turning him down could do even more harm to my, as yet unestablished, career. He had the potential to make me a household name, or blacklist me from the business forever. But to accept his proposition, to go through with what he wanted... I'd be risking my relationship... my self-respect. Ever since I'd left that booth two nights ago, I'd sworn to myself that I would wait it out, that I wouldn't contact him I wouldn't do it, wouldn't lower myself to that level of desperation. But when it came to throwing his card away, I couldn't bring myself to part with it. He held the answer to what I wanted so badly. He had the ability to give me the one piece of myself that I was missing. His card, his offer, it was like a golden ticket, and to toss it away would be reckless.
The sound of Davey gathering more bottles from the stock room made me jump, my attention snapping to the doorway automatically before I heard him retreat back to the crowded bar, leaving me to stare back down at the classy, black and silver, embossed business card that lay clutched between my slightly trembling fingers. I sighed, drumming it against my fingertips as my stomach lurched once more in indecisive discomfort.
I need a fucking drink.
I tucked it inside my bra and hastened to the drinks, pouring a double measure of the strongest whiskey we had, chucking it down and relishing in the burn that scorched my throat making me feel a little stronger than moments before. I was pouring another when the click of heels sounded along the hall drawing nearer, Crystal walking inside seconds later and coming to a stop, her eyes landing on me before she diverted her attention to her locker heading straight for it without a word. I hadn't spoken to her since the other night, but right now, with the heavy weight of uncertainty and confusion swirling around my head, I needed my friend. I needed the one person that I had to talk to about this stuff.
"Hey," I said timidly.
She froze as she pulled her phone from her bag, but didn't speak, staring determinedly at the screen.
"Please, can we just talk a minute, I nee-"
"Look, I'm doing what you wanted. I'm keeping my nose out of your business," She snapped.
"It's not about that," I muttered, "Something-"
She cut me off again, raising her hand and shaking her head.
"I don't want to hear it, Lena. I was trying to help you before, I wanted to see you do more, to follow your dreams, but if you don't have it in you to go after what you want, then that's up to you. I'm not interested anymore. You got what you want, I'm out."
Without giving me a chance to speak, she slammed her locker and stormed from the room, leaving me to stare after her with bitter disappointment.
I'd never questioned my persistence or capability to follow my dreams until recently. I'd been so determined back home that I'd given up my life there to move over here and go after what I wanted. I'd risked my relationship with my family, Ross and even sacrificed my friendships to prove that I could do this. As I leant back against the bar and pulled Jex's card back out, I sighed. All of it would be for nothing if I didn't go after it now. Risks were a part of my life whether I wanted them to be or not... this would just be another to add to the pile.
Before I could lose my nerve, I dialled the number and then waited for the call to connect.
"Jex Kendall," He greeted smoothly.
I threw my drink back, allowing the alcohol to buzz through my system, hopefully making me sound bolder than I felt.
"It's Selena," I replied.
"What a pleasant surprise, and just in time."
Ignoring the comment I took a deep breath and carried on:
"The offer you made, I'll do it."
"I'm glad." He said happily, "Tomorrow night, half seven at The Winslet Hotel, suite three-seventy-eight. I'll be waiting."
"Okay," I said quickly, hanging up and tossing my phone onto the bar, suddenly struck by just how real this was, and feeling sick to my stomach that I now had to wait an entire day before I could get it over with.
*******************
I was relieved that Ross was starting another twenty-four-hour shift the following morning, as he'd already left by the time that I woke. Not that I'd slept well. Being tucked in his arms all night, with the knowledge of my plans for that evening was torturous. I'd tossed and turned for hours, drifting into uneasy naps throughout the night, each time waking with the strong urge to be sick as I acknowledged the time that had passed, bringing me closer to going to the hotel.
With the afternoon passing in a blur, I barely registered the evening arriving, or making the decision to get myself ready. It was with a shock that I saw how pale I was in the reflection as I adjusted the strap on my bra. My usual olive skin which had been a shade darker from the sunny LA weather was as white as a sheet, standing out against my dark, bouncy curls and smokey make-up. I looked ill and had to take a beat to try to put some colour back in my cheeks before I could leave. Forcing myself to consume a steaming cup of tea and a couple of biscuits I sat in the kitchen sternly assuring myself that this would be easier when I got there, that I could do this and then forget all about it. I refused to allow thoughts of Ross into my head, for each time I did, I felt bile rising up my throat. My limbs were heavy as I glanced at the clock and saw the time ticking away rapidly, as though I were watching it being measured by sand in an hourglass, visibly running rapidly away from me before I could stop it.
I finished dressing, relieved when I saw the tinge of colour returning once I'd pulled on my fitted rouge dress and black heels and checked myself in the mirror. Deeming myself suitable for the event ahead, I left the apartment, jumping into a cab and setting off into the traffic.
The Winslet hotel was as swanky as they come. Impeccably polished marble floors mirrored the gold and cream accents lining every side of the spacious lobby, and every guest and employee alike were dressed to the finest standard. I could barely feel my legs as I walked further inside, shaking a little with each step. After a brief pause at the desk to check in, I was given directions to the suite and told that Mr Kendall would be waiting for me, then proceeded to the nearest elevator, only daring to breathe when the doors had closed and I was alone.
"You can do this," I repeated over and over, combing my hair with my fingers whilst my own reflection was mirrored back to me in the golden doors. "It's just one night."
The doors opened with a ding, and I stepped out into the hall, walking to the door on autopilot, the sound of my footsteps muffled by the cream carpet. I hesitated as I stared at the numbers on the door, wondering what lay ahead for me on the other side. A strong desire to run away struck me, and I'd half turned before I shook my head.
You're doing this for your career, Lena. Just breathe, you need to do this.
Before I could work myself up anymore, I knocked and listened for his approach, hearing movement getting closer on the other side, the door then swinging open to reveal Jex standing there looking smart yet somehow casual in a partially unbuttoned, crisp blue shirt tucked into black suit pants.
"Come on in," He said warmly, stepping aside and gesturing into the room.
I pushed myself forward, walking past him and into a living area that was bigger than the kitchen and living room combined, back at my apartment.
"You look beautiful," He commented, closing the door and following me. "Can I get you some champagne?"
I turned as he drifted to a nearby table, pulling a large bottle from the ice bucket and beginning to pour some into a crystal flute. I was about to say no, but then the idea of some dutch courage to get me through this felt like a better idea, and I found myself nodding.
"Thank you," I muttered hoarsely, accepting the glass and taking a measured sip.
"You're welcome," He replied, raising his own in a toast, before taking a sip himself and allowing his eyes to wander over me, drinking me in over the rim.
I drank faster, emptying the glass without tasting the contents, feeling the icy temperature chilling every bone in my body. Seizing the moment, Jex plucked it from my hands and placed both onto the table, invading my space and gently taking hold of my arm, gravitating toward me and planting a kiss on my cheek.
"Shall we move along to the bedroom?" He whispered in my ear.
"Okay," It was the only word I could manage, and it was barely audible, but still, he must have heard for he took my hand and began to lead me further into the suite, through a doorway and into a lavish bedroom.
Candles were burning across the table and the lights were dimmed just a little. It would have been romantic if it were under different circumstances. I didn't have long to look before I felt him take hold of my waist, his lips now at my neck, then my collarbone, his hands rising up higher with each second. I barely moved as he tugged gently at the neck of my dress, pressing kisses across each breast, suckling at the tender flesh before suddenly changing tact and cupping the back of my head, kissing me on the lips. I gasped as his lips moved against mine, but this only allowed his tongue to slip between them whilst his other hand began pulling my dress lower, dipping beneath my bra to grope me properly, groaning satisfactorily, whilst all I could do was kiss him back uneasily, clutching at his arms to keep myself standing.
"Let's get rid of this dress," He breathed, his lips parting from mine.
Removing his hands, his intent became clear, he wanted me to strip for him. My dress was already askew, one side pulled much further down than the other, straps halfway down each arm. He began to step back, the better to watch, and I finished what he'd already started, sliding the fabric lower until it parted contact with my body completely and pooled at my feet, leaving me to stand before him in just my underwear and heels.
"Perfect," He groaned appreciatively, and with a quick move, he was back on me, turning me away from him and pushing me toward the bed, where he threw me forward, bent over the end of the mattress, allowing his hands to wander slowly over my curves.