𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙁𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙚𝙧'𝙨 𝙂𝙞𝙧𝙡

Ch.29 - The Rage

Weakness.

That's all I could feel as my mother's monthly check for me dropped to the ground, the envelope landing right beside Jack's foot.

Weakness....

A deep sorrow in my heart, and a nauseating hatred in my gut. Salty tears continued to burn paths down my already soaked cheeks. I couldn't even comprehend the idea of wiping them away as I remained on my toes, still practically dangling from my uncles painful grip around my wrist high up in the air.

"I hate you...", my voice came out as a pathetic croak under the weight of my emotions. My blurry gaze met the remorseless one glaring down at me, eyes the color of dark honey. I had to look away. Avoid them. A stranger would say the color they held was warm, comforting. But on his face, I knew better.

On his face...I despised them.

On his face....they were soulless. Like the vacant eyes of a nocturnal animal.

On his face...they made me feel weak and pathetic.

Jack finally released his hold on my wrist, allowing myself to collapse to the ground as I tried to hold back the angry and pathetic sobs that desperately wanted to escape. It wasn't but a second before a felt the disgusting contact of his skin on mine once again as he slowly crouched down near my level, he and his shadow still towering over me, and held my jaw in another callused grip.

With one hand he turned my head roughly from one side to the other, as if coldly examining my imperfections and fear in one calculating gaze. All I could do was tightly shut my eyes, to shield myself from the wrath of back the man I hated so much it genuinely suffocated my chest as I thought about it.

"Little girl, you really need to learn to stay in your place." His breathing came out loudly through his nose. The grip slid an inch down, right under my chin at the top of my neck and tightened. "Because if you don't.....I'll teach you just how much this world can hate you back."

He released me, wiping any stray tears of mine that touched his hand onto his pant leg, as if they were filth.

He picks up and stares at my mothers envelope, before eyeing me triumphantly and tossing it back to the ground, right at my knee. His heavy steps trailed out of the kitchen before I hear the rustling of his gym bag being closed and soon after a slam of the front door. I slowly reached out and picked up the wrinkled envelope. Jack gave it to me.

No. He granted me the ability to have it.

It wasn't out of kindness, charity, or even to say that he simply didn't care about the money. My breathing hitched as a raging mix of despair and fury lit in my stomach. He was proving his point. His words echoed loudly inside my head.

Nothing you have is yours. Without others, you'd be nothing.

I only had this envelope now because he allowed me to have it, it didn't mater if it was meant for me or not. I didn't have a say on who I was or what I had. I was simply reliant on what others gave. What others allowed me to have. My bottom lip quivered, a desolate feeling created a whole in my chest.

You haven't done a single good thing for anybody, Patience. Not me, not your mom. Your sister. Your father. Not even yourself, little girl.

My hands started shaking as more singeing tears returned with a vengeance. My breathing elevated as the quivering took over my body completely. The heart within my chest punched heavily against my ribcage as my ability to see straight slipped away. My head sunk low and my hands braced the ground as ever so slightly my mouth fell open. One last taunt of venomous words echoed within my conscience.