The bravest and most handsome prince in the entire kingdom is getting married to the beautiful princess, when a dragon attacks and kidnaps his future wife. He embarks on a quest to save her, but takes too damn long to return, so his sister leaves th...
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I, Samantha Louisa Courdine, youngest daughter of King Raymond Courdine, have the most stupid brother in the world. Trust me.
Like, how the hell did he manage to get his fiancée kidnapped on the day of their marriage? It takes a special kind of stupid, I'll tell you that.
Let me elaborate...
So my oldest brother (because I have three more brothers and three sisters), the heir to the throne also had the honor of being named after my great-grandfather who won a war or something and his name was Bernard. Well, no one calls my brother that, we all just call him Bernie, but you get the point.
There are also (from oldest to youngest) Clarissa, Cornelius, Rosaline, Andrew and Andrea (the twins) and Darius. Out of this unfortunate bunch, I happen to be the youngest. Seriously, though, I pity my mom. So many kids... Ouch.
Anyway, Bernie was getting married to the beautiful Darlene Scarlet. Seriously, though. I ain't even being sarcastic right now. That girl was really pretty and a really good person. She definitely deserved better than my doofus of a brother.
(cue an exasperated sigh by everyone who's ever met him)
The usual cliché; the "handsome" prince getting married to the beautiful princess because he's just great and all and he deserves it, while nobody really asks the princess if she's into him. Like, at all.
I wouldn't even be surprised if Darlene orchestrated the entire dragon thing just to get herself out of marrying Bernie.
Alright, enough introductions. Let's just get in with the story of how my brother embarrassed himself so much that I finally got my chance to shine because, honestly? I was a little tired of living in the shadows of all my older siblings.
Like, you know that thing when parents compare you to everyone that needs oxygen to stay alive? Yeah, it's ten time worse when you have seven older siblings. My mom is a pro at that...
"Oh my goodness! Raymond, look at what Darius painted! Samantha, you never do anything productive!"
"Clarissa! I'm so proud of you! You finally got married! My baby grew up... Samantha, when are you going to get married?"
"Samantha, why can't you do something good for the kingdom like Cornelius? He helped build a beautiful fountain in a nearby town! All you do is sit around and judge people!"
Like, I'm sorry I don't live up to your expectations, mother. It's not my fault you didn't want an eighth kid, it's yours and dad's. Like, damn. Stop blaming everything on me! And it's not my fault I'm not interested in any of the suitors you bring for me either. Why can't you just take a hint and realise that I'm not into guys so I don't have to actually come out to you because I'm a huge coward?
Sigh.
Anyway, enough rambling on my part. Time to be a "responsible" narrator and actually get on with this bloody story, right?
