Downward Spiral | Solby

Chapter Two

"Sam?"

Colby hated this, the uncertainty that plagued him as he tried to reach out to his best friend. They'd never been uncertain around each other, they'd known each other too well.

"Come in Colby."

Hesitantly, he pushed open the door, taking a deep breath and walking over to Sam. The blond boy sat on his bed with a book in his hand, his dull blue eyes watching Colby.

"Are you okay?" Colby blurted.

"I'm fine," Sam said, smiling fakely.

"You're not," Colby said quietly. "And it's taken me too long to figure that out."

"What are you talking about Colby?"

"Stop calling me that!" He shouted. "God!"

Sam merely blinked. "It's your name isn't it?"

Frustrated, Colby rubbed his eyes. "It is but you never used it like that."

"Like what?"

"Like it was just anyone's name."

Sam's gaze hardened. "If you want to feel special, go kiss Brennen's ass."

"Sam-" Colby choked out but Sam cut him off.

"Why does that shock you?" The boy hissed. "You did it for months without thinking about it!"

"I know!" Colby shot back. "I know and I'm sorry!"

"I'm sorry too."

Colby stared at his friend. "What does that mean?"

"It's means nothing Colby."

"Please tell me Sam."

Sam scowled. "Fine. It means that I'm sorry I spent so long waiting for you to fucking realise I'm not okay. It means I'm sorry that I had become so dependant on you. It means I'm sorry that it too so long for you to realise that you fucking left."

"I didn't mean to," Colby whispered and Sam snorted.

"Didn't mean to? I'm sure that the rain didn't mean to cause floods. I'm sure that an earthquake didn't mean to cause damage to houses. It's cause and effect Colby."

Sudden anger washed through Colby and he stiffened. "You wanna know why I left, Sam? You wanna know why I spend so much time with Brennen? You were always with Kat. You'd constantly have dates whenever I wanted to hang out so I found someone who wouldn't make me feel unappreciated."

Sam exploded into cruel laughter and despite his anger, Colby winced at the dead sound. "That's too funny," Sam sneered. "Because you would do the same fucking thing. As soon as we moved here, into this house, you would shut me out, so I buried myself in dates with Kat so that I wouldn't have time alone to think about how my best friend decided I wasn't worth it anymore."

Colby heart gave a cry as little pieces of it fell through his chest and stabbed his stomach. "I didn't...I didn't know I did that."

Sam shook his head. "You never knew half the things you did."

His breath caught in his throat. "What?"

"You're a violent drunk," Sam said quietly and Colby's heart burst into flames and melted away.

"I-I...please tell me I didn't..."

"Hit me?" Sam finished. "Would it make you feel better if I said no?"

"Tell me the truth," Colby begged.

Sam sighed. "Whenever you weren't being a depressed drunk, you'd be pushy. You'd shove me around, laughing if I got hurt. No, you never hit me, but I woke up with bruises."

"Sam...Sam I'm so sorry."

He just chuckled dryly. "It's in the past Colby. And you were my best friend, I could never hate you for it."

Were.

Colby felt his eyes water. "Am I not your best friend now?"

Sam looked down. "Considering you never asked if I was okay, never made sure I was happy, never checked to see if I was eating properly like I always did for you, I would say no. No, you're not my best friend. I don't have one of those."

The tidal wave of tears couldn't be held back and Colby felt them slide down his cheeks as he stare open-mouthed at his oldest friend. "Y-You don't mean that." Please don't mean that.

Sam shrugged. "I didn't think you wanted to be friends anymore."

"I do, Sam I do."

"Well it's too late now."

Without another word, Colby turned around, still in a daze, and walked out the door and down the stairs. Elton was still waiting for him, his eyes dark with concern as he saw the tears painted onto Colby's face.

"Colby?"

"I'm going out." His voice sounded different, hollow, dead.

And Colby's downward spiral began.