Downward Spiral | Solby

Chapter Fourteen

Sam was home but Colby was not.

Brennen had met Sam at the door in a flustered frenzy, babbling something about an open window and a missing blue eyed boy. Elton had immediately dialled Colby only to hear his phone ring from his room.

"Just sit and wait," Sam had said. "He always comes back."

So they did. Kat sat with Sam and they talked in hush whispered as the others slowly drifted back to their rooms save for Brennen, who insisted on staying in Colby's. Sam pretended not to feel the anger and jealousy twisting in his stomach.

"Where do you think he went?" Kat wondered, playing with her fingers.

Sam shrugged. "Anywhere. He does this sometimes, when he's upset. He always comes back though."

"Always?"

"Always."

What Sam didn't tell her was that whenever Colby went away, he came back different. Every time he came back home, he lost part of himself until Sam wondered if the person that came back this time would even be Colby at all.

"I see him!" Brennen shouted, nearly tripping down the stairs in his haste to get to the front door. "He's back!"

Sam didn't move, even as Elton wandered out and Corey and Devyn rushed down. Aaron trailed them slowly. Kat stayed with Sam, taking note of his stiff shoulders and guarded expression.

The front door opened.

"Sorry," Colby said immediately to Brennen. "You told me to stay in my room and I didn't listen. It's my fault."

"I don't care about that bro," Brennen said, pulling Colby into a quick hug. He didn't notice the way Colby's eyes had turned grey with sadness, or he way his whole body dropped with exhaustion and rejection. He didn't hear the way Colby's voice trembled with defeat.

"Is Sam back?" Colby asked Elton.

The man nodded. "He's over on the couch I think."

"Okay." Colby stepped away from Brennen. "Tell him I said I'm glad he's getting better." He walked towards the stairs.

"Dude!" Corey's shout followed him. "I think you should speak to him now. There's someone else here too."

Colby ignored him and kept walking, walking, walking, until his familiar bedroom walls became his cage once more. He fell onto his bed and stared blankly with broken eyes that showed his bleeding heart.

***

Sam relaxed slightly when Colby trekked upstairs but his eyes remained downcast as he played with the bandages around his wrists. So he really does hate me now.

It was like Brennen all over again but so much worse. Instead of replacing him, Colby had cut him it completely and isolated himself in the process. Now they were both alone and broken and Sam didn't know what to do.

He felt helpless whenever it came to Colby. There had been a time when he could read Colby like a book, when he knew exactly what to do to make everything better but now he couldn't do anything and he hated it.

"Sam?" A cool hand was placed over his and he was confused until he noticed the fresh red stains on the crisp bandages. He looked up and met Kat's eyes, Devyn standing just behind her.

"Sorry," he said dully.

"Sam," Kat said sadly. "You need to talk to him."

Sam shook his head. "He hates me."

"Do you know that for sure?"

"Yes."

Kat stood. "If you won't talk to him, I will. You can't keep going like this. Sooner or later, you're both gonna break and maybe nobody is gonna be there to help pick up the pieces."

Sam laughed dryly. "We're already broken Kat."

Kat brushed his hair back affectionately. "Let me talk to Colby."

"Stay," Sam begged, grabbing onto her hand and holding tight. "Please. For now."

"Sam-"

His grip tightened. "Please Katrina."

She sighed and sat back down. "Alright."

***

Colby wasn't sure how he was feeling. He thought he'd been okay, but then Sam hadn't wanted to see him and suddenly Katrina was back in the picture and everything was crumbling down around him.

Never before had his room seemed so cold and foreign. The colourful walls seemed sad and dreary and his laptop sat on a bare desk, whirring softly. Colby shook his head and pulled out his camera. He owed his fans an explanation.

Sighing, he messed up his hair a little and pulled out his phone, biting his lip and he sent out a tweet.

@ColbyBrock: very important vid going up soon. It's time I finally give you an explanation.

Instantly, his notifications went crazy until Colby had to completely turn off his phone and he set up his camera. The routine was familiar but Colby could feel something inside him crack each time he blinked. This video would be the confession that would finally sever the bond between him and Sam.

Colby's lip curled. Not that Sam actually cares.

So when he pushed record, Colby didn't bother smiling.

And when he finished recording, he didn't edit. He simply started uploading and let the internet determine his fate.