Fight for You

| Fifteen |

2011

I had nearly lost Edward in a crowd of Hare Krishna followers. He freaked the fuck out and had a panic attack in the middle of the strip mall.
Everything had taken a turn for the worst and I was messing this whole thing up. Alex would never forgive me if this deal went south because of my stupidity and crazy ideas. I had no idea Edward would react like that. One minute I was laughing, singing, joining in the happiness that was surrounding us. The next, Edward was frozen on the spot, head down, getting lost within his own mind.

How could I have been so stupid? All I was trusted to do was show him around the city, go to dinner and schmooze a bit.

And what the bloody hell had I said to him? Come back to me? It's just you and me? Oh my God! What a total whacko! He probably thinks I'm some crazy psycho woman. He wouldn't be far from the truth because that is exactly what I must have sounded like. Oh Lord! I put my hands on his face and pulled him in close like I was going to suck his face off. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Can the earth please open up and swallow me right now, please?

"Please forgive me. I never meant for any of that to happen." I kept my head down, hoping Edward wouldn't notice the look of guilt and nerves on my face.

"There is nothing to forgive. Let's carry on, shall we? You said there is still much of the city for me to see." he reached over and tapped my knee a few times before retreating back to his side of the car.

Edward brushed the whole episode off as if he hadn't just fallen apart in the middle of a Hare Krishna mob. How could he be so calm after all of that? I had kept my composure on the outside. There was no way on earth that I would let him see how guilty I really felt. If he could so easily move past it then I would follow his lead and outwardly put it behind me.

"Well, now I know to avoid crowds and spontaneous herds of Hare Krishna's." Edward let out a rather loud belly laugh accompanied by a smile that reached his eyes, and strangely it helped to slightly ease the storm I was waging inside.

"Okay, I think I know the perfect spot. How are you with heights?" I quizzed Edward with an excited smile.

"Erm, fine I suppose. As long as I'm not expected to jump off anything." He sounded a bit nervous till I laughed and shook my head.

"You're in no way dressed for anything like that. Unless you want to jump off the side of a building? Because we have that there if you're into that kind of thing?" Edward shook his head. "Thank goodness, cause I'm wearing a dress! The place I have in mind is spectacular, I think you might enjoy it. This is the best time of day to visit too." I leant forward to type the destination into the car navigation system for Benjamin to follow and sat back into my seat. I gave Edward a reassuring smile.

"When you're ready Benjamin. I really hope you enjoy yourself, Edward."

In an attempt to avoid any further awkward exchanges, I turned my head to look out the window and watch the city go by as we headed off to the next destination.

********************

The car wound its way up through the narrow hilly suburbs, Benjamin having to give way to other cars often as the thin stretch of roads could barely fit one car through. I was beginning to get excited about our destination. It had been months since I had time to make it up there. There was something about the air up here that created peace and tranquillity, calm on a still day. As we came closer to the lookout I leant forward to give Benjamin instructions to park in the less crowded area and we could walk to the lookout. I climbed out more eagerly than intended, sneakily slipping my camera into the pocket of my jacket.

"Welcome to the City Lookout!" I made a feeble attempt to contain my joy as I opened the door for Edward, ushering him out of the car. "What do you think?"