Just a dream

Chapter 7

Charlie Dickinson

It couldn't be. But it must be. But it shouldn't be. But it would be. But why did I have to hear it?

Because it was my dream.

My mouth gaped open slightly as I heard his name, and I had to look down and cover my face with my hair so as not to let Jana notice. If I had been any younger, I might have cried, but I could withstand tears by now. After all, it had been nine years ago.

But I could still remember it all quite clearly, from when I was little. Going to the park and being pushed on the swings. Going to town and buying ice creams; he would always have to finish mine off before it dripped. Then we would be at home, and he would try to tickle me, and I would throw pillows helplessly, ignoring the fact that it was no use. He would cuddle me when I was upset, and say soothing words until the tears stopped. He would listen to me, and talk to me, giving me advice and care. He would help me sort out my knee when I had scrapped it on the pavement, not caring how much blood would get on his fingers.

But then it stopped.

One day, people in green coats with silver stripes had rushed him out of the house, saying that he was alright, just needed some medical attention. I had thought it would be just like the doctors appointments I saw in all of my children's books, not realising how different it actually was. I saw him once more, he held my hand and told me to be brave. But I didn't understand. I hadn't told him I was upset about anything, for I wasn't. But before I could ask any more, a nurse had rushed me away to wait outside with my aunt as my mum stayed in there. That was the last time I saw him. The last time I saw my dad.

And then there was the funeral. Mum was crying, but I didn't understand why. It was just a pretend vampire's coffin, wasn't it? I tried to ask Mum what was wrong, but she wouldn't talk to me. My aunt had to rush me away, saying I would distress her further by talking to her. I asked why she was upset, and she told me Daddy had gone away for a while. I asked where and how long, and she replied, "He's gone to live with the angels. I don't know how long he'll be, but you'll see him one day again."

"Can I see him now?"

"I'm afraid not sweetheart, but one day, you'll go to him, like the rest of us."

I settled for this answer, believing it satisfactory. I did not understand the full meaning of what had come to pass. But I wasn't thinking about it for much longer. Another man came to live with us after only a few months later. Another few months, and I was suddenly a bridesmaid, with my pretty blue frock and basket of flowers. When I asked why, Mum had rubbed the small bump on her stomach, saying there was someone special on the way. Skip another few months, and I was watching over a cot, a baby silently sleeping within. When I called it Baby, Mum said I should call her Gabriella. I said I preferred Baby, but then the man who was living with us, who I had been told to call Tony, told me not to be a silly little girl. I told him that I wasn't silly, just a little girl. He seemed to get annoyed, and Mum had to say something to him.

I was told off afterwards, and was sent to my room. I thought it was so unfair; why did Baby have to get all of the attention? And when could I see Daddy again? It was only a few years later that I found out. I would never see him again.

But I was hearing about him.

He had not been mentioned in the household for years, so I was shocked when his name just popped up in my dream like that. It had never happened before. But none of this had ever happened before. Suddenly, I had a flash back, to when he was whispering my name in my ear, slowly, quietly, but it wasn't my real name, it was ...

"Ginger. Ginger?"

"Sorry, what?"

"Look, I know class is borin', but it would be good if you paid some attention."