Poems From Inside Me

Loves Tugging At Me

Differing Loves Tugging At Me

In my house I feel so safe and protected

And my words and thoughts can be directed

Onto the pages of my stories

As I relate my far off glories

It funny though I didn't understand

What it really meant to be a man

I thought men had to look the best

And put his love to every test

I find now true manliness with my sister's child

Being an uncle, not being wild

Caring for her and teaching her things

Oh what joy that little one brings

She loves her grandpa, and my brother and I

She never doubts, never asks why

Why we do those things a kid had sense not to do

Spending my days longing for you

Yes you my love, love of my life

The one I once wanted for my wife

If we had just sat down and planned things through

We would have a young child that looks just like you

But sometimes now I have had to learn to see

Being a man is not about what I wanted for me

It just feels like I still have so much more love to give

Enough for a gaggle of happy young kids

But being single has it's rewards it is true

I can still have the happiness of being friends with you

I also still have so much more time

To be a good Uncle to that niece of mine

Leif Gregersen

Questions

I often wonder if in a thousand years

What could be if my soul reappears

If I have been on this Earth more than one life

Why would I not know another time, another wife

If I have lived through a thousand suns

Back to when man had just begun

Would it matter to me anyway

Since I now barely remember yesterday

Once I studied under a Tibetan monk

My happiness grew, my anger shrunk

But I stopped believing in that path

Because to me Jesus is what lasts

I don't want to tell you what to think or see

All I can tell is what became of me

From the deepest pit of pain

I came back to fight again

You see you cannot preach after you've lost your mind

People see your words and think things unkind

It is hard for all to gain life sustaining faith

And harder to share it face to face

I know that meditation makes me love

All things below, around, above

But as I read my holy book

I get back all that madness took

I love the proverbs, they instruct my soul

Like a good Father they make one wise and whole

I could read the gospels a thousand times

And each reading there are new precious finds

One might think I would have lost my faith

Seeing my mother's dying face

But really when you are there for those about to pass

You find peace within to make their love last

I only hope someone could be there for me

As my last breath flows from me

Then if I shall be born again

I will owe a debt to a special friend

It could be that we spend our waking days

Trying to pay back the world in many ways

And when we each find our special kind of love

We give them kindness born from above

Leif Gregersen

May17, 2013