VI.

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06. GROUPCHAT

SEBASTIAN ADDED YOU TO THE CHAIN

MINNIE
okay this was fun Seb but it's super late so goodnight

SEBASTIAN
shut up oh my god

SEBASTIAN
what a diva

MINNIE
I'm gonna mute this chat so fast I stg

UNKNOWN 1
don't leave me alone in here please

MINNIE
hello anon idk if you know this but you can actually leave groupchats whenever you want to

UNKNOWN 1
can't, seb threatened us

MINNIE
oh yeah bc Sebastian's absolutely terrifying

UNKNOWN 2
you haven't seen him at 6am when he's had no coffee

MINNIE
pls can you give me a quick lil rundown of who's who in here so that I can save numbers before I cry of confusion

UNKNOWN 3
only if you tell me who you are first

SEBASTIAN
oh wow I'm having deja vu

SEBASTIAN
introductions are lame and so 20th century lemme just put contact names in for you all

UNKNOWN 4
real contact names this time

SEBASTIAN
suddenly I can't read

UNKNOWN 5
guess who isn't having dinner in Robert's village if he keeps up this poor attitude

SEBASTIAN
shut up tom treat your elders with respect

UNKNOWN 5
respect has to be earned, you arse

UNKNOWN 3
learn to speak REAL English

UNKNOWN 5
I'm genuinely English ?? I think out of all of us, I'm the one speaking it correctly

SEBASTIAN
correctly's an awfully big word for you

UNKNOWN 5
fuck off oh my god I haven't even met you yet

UNKNOWN 2
'language!'

UNKNOWN 3
that NEVER gets old wOw

MINNIE
I'm honest to god so confused rn pls just change the contact names, Sebastian

UNKNOWN 3
I don't trust him to do it so I'll give you a run down, I'm Chris Evans, 1 is lizzie, 2 is Robert, 3 is me, 4 is Mackie and 5 is tom

SEBASTIAN
and together wE ARE, THE CHAIN

MINNIE
ah, it's so nice to finally make your acquaintance after banging you for the past 6 months, Mr. America

ROBERT
tom cover your eyes, guard them from this pure filth

TOM
I'm eiGHTEEN COME ON

MINNIE
I'm gonna need to see some ID as proof

TOM
I'm gonna ask my mum where my passport is and send you a picture of it I swear

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