H.O.P.E. ~ Brallon

Dallon: S.H.I.T.

It's 9:12 am. I am sitting at a two person table in the middle of a coffee shop on the strip. I am a regular. This is my daily schedule. I buy a black coffee, sit at this table, and watch the news. I feel like a terrible person when I break my daily routine. I feel like I did something wrong and my whole day will be a disaster.

That is how I found that guy standing on the edge of the building. I go up there every afternoon. I feel free when I'm up there. I feel alive.

He didn't feel alive. In fact he wanted so badly to die that I just barely caught him. When I saw him at first, I knew as a good human being I had to save him. Holding him over the edge of the building changed me though.

This routine wasn't truly allowing me to live. Seeing the light that left his eyes come back as I pulled him up showed me what I was doing wrong.

I'm so afraid of getting hurt that I realized what I was doing was hurting me. I keep having dreams that I was hanging off the edge of the building and he pulled me back. I wish I caught his name. I want to thank him for saving me.

Debbie hands me my check. "You know what Debbie I think I'm going to stay here a little longer today. If I could get I refill and a strawberry muffin with cheese crème filling that would be nice," I say. "You've go it Dal. Is that all?" She asks. "Oh can you turn on the news?" I remember to ask, "I would like to check the weather today and that will be all."

Debbie turned on the news. I sat back drinking my coffee waiting for the commercials to end. I check the clock. It's 9:34 am. I'm usually long gone by now.

The news comes back on. There's a story about a young rock star who is back from his 8th stay in rehab. I sigh. Why can't celebrities just get their shit together. Why do they feel like they need to do crazy things to stay relevant. If you're talented use it.

The show the guys face. The lead singer of Panic! At The Disco's Brendon Urie. I spit out my coffee. "Holy shit!" I shout. It's the guy from the roof. Debbie walks over with some napkins and my food. They show a clip of him hanging onto my hand.

"Are you alright?" Debbie asks. "Th-That's me," I stutter as I point at the TV. "What's you?" Debbie asks looking at the TV. "I'm the one that pulled him back onto the roof," I say. "Wait a minute. You're telling me that you're the mystery man that saved Brendon Urie?" Debbie asks. I nod my head up and down.

"Can I get my food to go. I know what I'm going to do today," I say. I pay Debbie and give her a $5 tip. She gives me my food and I leave. I type into my phone the only place I can think of finding him. Where is Brendon Urie's recording studio?

I follow the Google maps direction on my phone. The building is tall. I feel a little intimidated. What am I even doing here. It's not like he's going to want to talk to me. I saved him when he wanted to die. I'm about to turn around when I see Pete Wentz holding the door open for me to go in.

I decide not to go in. I feel like this is going to be the stupidest thing I have ever done, but it doesn't hurt to try. I turn around and catch up to Pete, "Hey I need your help. I'm not a fan. Well I am a fan but I'm not here because of that I-I," I say. Oh my god I made a complete fool of myself.

"Just spit it out already I don't have all day," Pete says, stopping to look at me. "I-I need to know how I can find Brendon Urie," I say. "Hah. I almost fell for that," Pete says as he starts to walk away, "Listen what ever company you work for Brendon isn't talking to anyone. He put's himself out there for you guys enough as it is let him have some privacy for once."

"No that's not what I mean," I say keeping up with Pete, "I don't work for anyone. I don't want to make a story out of his problem-" "I don't believe you for one second," Pete says.

I snap at him, "If I wanted to make a story I would go to the reporters and tell them what Brendon told the when I was trying to pull him back up onto the roof! Now if you could shut your fucking mouth and listen to me! I want to thank Brendon. We didn't exactly get to do much talking. He doesn't know that when I saved him he saved me. He made me realize that I needed to start living and stop fearing everything that could hurt me. Now if you would be so kind into helping me be able to tell him that, that would be perfect! Thanks for taking the time to listen Petey boy!"

Pete stood there in shock. "Okay never call me Petey boy again and I'll see what I can do," Pete says, "What's your name?" "Dallon," I say. "Well thank you Dallon I don't know what I would do if Brendon would have died," Pete says.

"Your welcome," I say. "Just meet me at the studio same time tomorrow but first I need to take a picture of you so Brendon can confirm that you are who you say you are," Pete says.

He takes a picture of me then continues walking away. I let him leave. I can't believe yelled at the Pete Wentz. Petey boy? Really? What's wrong with me? I laugh. I can't believe I'm going to see Brendon again. I hope he doesn't hate me.

I can't get him out of my head. His beautiful brown eyes, perfect skin, he was so small and fragile in my arms. I want to hold him again. I want to do so many things with him. Oh my god I shouldn't be thinking of him like this. I barely know the guy.

Live a little Dallon.