The Random Book Of Randomness

My crush

Requested by Redgolly3663 after I brought it up XD. Also, I will refer to everyone's names as letters, just to protect their identities

The first crush I ever had was back in 7th grade, H, and I didn't get over him until next year in 8th grade. After H, I wasn't crushing on anyone. I just started my freshman year of high school, and I've already met so many people, including the one I've now developed feelings for.

His name, or letter in this case, is R. He's a freshman trombone player that makes friends with everyone and is quite eccentric. He's funny, kind, and the kind of guy you'd like to hang around. His hair is bleach blonde and light brown, but the thing I love most about him is his wicked sense of humor.

BUUUUUT there's a few catches. There pretty much always is XD

The first is that we rarely ever talk. It's different from H, though, because I was basically invisible to him, but R at least knows I'm there. Our conversations go one of these four ways...

1. He says 'hi' to me a couple of times in the day, and that's it
2. He makes small talk
3. I make (awkward) small talk
4. We converse like normal people, and the next day it's back to "on/off saying one word to each other" conversations

You get me? We're not bffs for life or anything. Hell, we're barely even friends

The next reason is that I don't know R super well, like how best friends do, know what I'm saying? Also, with band and everything else I've got to balance out, its hard to hang out with friends, period.

Reason number three is that my feelings for him go up and down. When I first started crushing on R, it was a small one. Gradually, we started talking more often, and my feelings skyrocketed. I even considered asking him out to homecoming at one point. However, as we started talking less and less, my crush on him slowly started to deplete, and I became jealous of the people he talked to. The cycle just continues from there.

I know I should probably just talk to him myself, but when I start conversations, it's always too awkward, so...idk. Guess I'll carry on for life and see what happens.

Wheeeeeew, that was a lot of words. Didn't expect it to be that long, but hope you enjoyed! Bye for now!!!