WEAKNESS

Chater 23- Murderer

"Can I help you?", I asked uncomfortably. He seemed to snap back to reality. "You must be starving, I will make breakfast. Come eat when you are dressed", with that he got up and walked out.

Once dressed in shorts and a baggy T-shirt I went to the kitchen to find him actually making breakfast himself. I sat down on the chair and watched him shocked that he could cook. He put the contents on our plates and poured us some coffee (just what I need).

We ate in silence as per usual. Once we were done I cleared the table and washed the dishes and pots, he just sat there looking at me.

When I was done drying my hands with a cloth he asked to talk to me. I followed him, instead of going to his office as usual he went to the living room and sat on the couch and motioned for me to sit beside him.

"Let's talk about yesterday", he said once I sat and he took my hand. I looked away, I was not expecting this and I already shared a lot about my past to him. I could not tell him this he will think I'm such a horrible person.

"Its OK, you can talk to me" , he said sensing my uneasiness. "Are you and Bob an item?". The mere mention of his name made me sick, I shook my head no. "Were you?", he asked studying me. "Yes,two years ago in varsity", I said looking down at our joined hands. "You guys had a child?", he asked the question I dreaded the most and as if on cue my tears started falling.

" No we don't ", I said softly. "Then why did he say that?", he asked confused.

I decided to tell him the truth though it hurt so much to relive it.
" I met Bob when I was doing my first year and he was doing his second. He was redoing one model because he wasn't happy with the marks he got. We met at that class. I was a loner and sat alone. Bob started talking to him and even though i would shut him out he still did till we became friends. It felt great to have someone to talk to. By the following year we had started dating, he made me so happy and I trusted him. But he was graduating that year. He was going to be moving to Jo'burg and I would be left here in Durban to complete my final year. On the day of his graduation is the final day I saw him. He told me it was over, there was no way things could work with him so far away. What hurt was the fact that he was dumping me well aware I was two months pregnant. I asked what to do, he just walked away. I was heartbroken and alone with a life growing within me. Having this baby would disrupt my studies, I was on scholarship and would lose it in the process. I have no family, so how would have I taken care of a child on my own and carried my education. I opted to make a selfish decision and put myself first and went to the clinic for an abortion. After I had done it I got so depressed. All these years I hated my mother for neglecting me but at least she gave me life, she dropped out of school when she had me and never went back. Yes she was the worst mother but at least she had me. I killed my child, I was selfish and put my future before my child. What type of a mother am I ?", I was out of breath in tears.

Bradley sat there with me in my arms comforting me. He did not say a single word to me. I bet he was disgusted by me and my actions, who could blame him?.

After I had calmed down Bradley spoke up, "I'm sorry you had to go through that". He said this whilst caressing my cheek. "Don't beat yourself u for things that happens in your past".

He hugged me tightly and I was relieved he was there for me and did not judge me.