13: Hot Mess

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Rose

Ms. Stella 

led me to a classroom 

after the bell rang. 

This was supposed to be 

my cooking class. 

I could hear

faint laughter around me 

and I know right away 

the class is lively. 

I hear Ms. Stella's 

pretty voice 

and we walk over 

to a station 

in the room. 

I don't know what to do, 

so I rely on Ms. Stella 

to teach me.

I hold onto her hand 

firmly 

as the teacher 

instructs the class 

and introduces me. 

I don't speak 

and I don't respond. 

I just stand there, 

staring at the table 

in front of me. 

I run my free hand 

against the surface

and wonder if it's made 

of metal. 

I've never cooked before.

Then Ms. Stella 

hands me the ingredients 

I was assigned 

to work on. 

She tells me what to do 

and takes my hands 

and help me cook. 

Her hands are cool against mine 

and it makes me relieved 

to have her here 

with me.

My hand cups 

a small cool ball 

and I know 

this is an egg. 

I crack it against a bowl 

and spill the yolk 

into the bowl 

very slowly. 

I didn't want to mess this up. 

It would only burden 

the team I was assigned with. 

None of them bother 

to talk to me, 

and I'm grateful for that. 

They might distract me 

from my intense concentration 

of cooking 

like a professional.

Ms. Stella 

I try not to have Rose 

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