Forty Four

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Kate

I flinched at the sound of his voice, my stomach felt like I had swallowed a thousand mouthfuls of gum, my heart was beating so loudly I could hear it through my ears, my chest and my cheeks were on fire, I might start sweating.

He hummed, totally relaxed to the infant, one hand rested by his small belly to keep the blanket out of his face.

I took a single step inside, caving into the fact that I had been caught. "I-I didn't think you would be here, I thought you would be in Italy." He didn't respond, only continued to hum. "I'm sorry I'll just let me leave you guys alone, I didn't think you'd be here I wouldn't have-"

"Would you like to hold him?"

"What?"

He looked up for the first time. His eyes were different than the last time I had seen them, they seemed softer, more relaxed maybe. "To hold him Katherine."

I tried not to lose myself when he said my name, the very last thing he had screamed at me as I fled. My name. From his lips. "I can come back another time-" Any time when you aren't here.

But he was already standing, bouncing and shushing the bundle gently as he came towards me. I took a step back. "Here." He said softly. "You can have the rocking chair."

"I'll stand." I insisted and before I could argue a beautiful baby boy was in my hands. "Oh." I managed. He wiggled, his face scrunching up in despair but his eyes didn't open. I bounced him gently as Alessio had and he calmed. "He's so light." I whispered feeling myself welling up already. "Here, take him back." I insisted turning back to him already on the verge of tears.

He didn't offer his hands back up to take him.

"Alessio please take him I-"

"Were you going to tell me?"

"What?"

"Katherine." He said soft, but sharply. "Were you going to tell me?"

"Take the baby Alessio."

He reached out and touched my stomach and I jerked backwards.

"Don't." I warned.

He repeated his question again. "Were you or were you not going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"Hm."

The baby began fussing at this point, no longer merely scrunching his face up but actually crying now. I was instantly filled with anxiety and panic. He stepped forward and took him at this point and he calmed instantly. I wiped my eyes quickly when my hands were free. "I have to go. It was...nice seeing you, take care." I tried quickly.

"Are you keeping it?" He asked and I stilled. He tilted his head to the side. "Have you already-?"

I shook my head and whispered a soft no.

"But you've considered."

"Why do you do that?" I took several steps backwards despite the fact that he'd made no advance. "Why do you state things instead of ask them? You're not in my mind. You have no idea what I want to do, what I've considered, what I want-"

"No, I'm not in your mind, I don't know, I haven't a clue Katherine. You won't include me, how should I?"

"Include you? Why should I include you? Isn't that the point of breaking up? You don't have to include each other anymore?"

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