❝ʜᴏᴘᴇʟᴇss❞|| vkook

10. panic

Taehyung's heart ached. His head spun.

"He loved me," he whispered to himself.

I loved him and he loved me.

We were in love.

Taehyung had never felt so stupid.

He didn't know what to feel.

He didn't know whether to cry or to scream.

What can you do when you suddenly find out that the dead love of your life loved you back?

Taehyung shot up and ran to the bathroom.

He stood over the toilet breathing heavily. Sweat trickled down his forehead.

He loved me.

Taehyung couldn't breathe. He felt as if someone was grasping his heart so tight, its beating was restrained.

Taehyung let out large gasps for air. He grasped his hair with his hands, taking steps backwards. His legs trembled until they gave out under him making him fall back and hit the bathroom wall, causing a shelf with cosmetics to fall.

I'm dying, Taehyung thought.

His chest felt as if aflame. It rose and collapsed in an unsteady pattern. His entire body was in pain.

Someone rapidly knocked on the door.

"Taehyung?" Jin said through the door. "Is everything ok in there? I heard something fall."

The boy couldn't speak. He opened his mouth but no words would come out.

Don't come in. Just let it happen.

Jin must've heard Taehyung's breathing because the door opened swiftly moments after.

Jin eyes widened when he saw the boy on the floor. He fell down next to him and put his hand on his damp cheek.

"Taehyung. Don't worry, Taehyung, I've got you. Stay calm. Focus on your breathing."

Taehyung was too scared to listen. His body was no longer in his control. It was not his own. His breathing got faster.

"Taehyung, I'm right here. Try to focus on you're breathing," Jin repeated in a calm tone.

Taehyung attempted to nod and did as he was told this time. He tried to steady his breathing, which felt unusual since usually he wants it to stop.

"You're doing good," Jin said. Taehyung believed him. His breathing seemed to relax.

Jin stroked the boy's hair.

"Take your time. It's ok. Everything's ok."
- - -
Taehyung sat on the living room couch, shivering, despite the warm weather. Jin handed Taehyung a glass of water. Taehyung put it to his lips and sipped carefully. Jin put a fleece blanket around Taehyung's shoulders and sat down beside him. Namjoon and Jimin were out but Taehyung knew they would've been sitting with him as well.

Taehyung's panic attack had lasted fifteen minutes at the most but it felt like it was never going to end. At least, not well.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Jin offered. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

Taehyung put down his glass. For once, he was ready to share his emotions. Jin had already seen him in such a bad state. It was only fair that he knew what caused it.

"I... um... I read something Jungkook wrote. About me." Taehyung kept his head down.

Jin nodded acknowledgedly but didn't force Taehyung to speak further. Silence filled the room. Jin put his arms around Taehyung, a comforting gesture.

"He said he loved me," Taehyung turned his head looking Jin straight in the eyes.

"Jungkook loved me."

Jin bit his lip and nodded. He cleared his throat. "I have something to show you." He got up from the couch went into the kitchen. He grabbed a wooden box on top of the fridge and sat back down beside Taehyung. He opened the box revealing what seemed to be a small photograph. He grabbed it with his delicate fingers and showed it to Taehyung. Taehyung took it from him. It was a photo of him and Jungkook. They were both smiling. Jungkook held up a peace sign.

"The night of the party," Taehyung whispered.

"I printed it out as soon as I took it." Jin let out a quiet chuckle. "You both looked so happy together."

Taehyung hugged the picture to his chest and began to sob. He closed his eyes and let the tears fall. "I miss you. I miss you so much."

Jin wrapped his arms around the boy.

"Let it out. Let it all out."
- - -
what even is this story

p.s. don't forget to check out my new story "man on the moon" [yoonseok]!