Thursday, July 9, 2020
Houston, TX
I sat outside of Jay's home taking a few deep breaths. I was here to drop Braxton off but I was nervous as hell to go inside. I repeatedly tapped my nails against the steering wheel until I finally got the courage to get out. I couldn't sit out in this car forever and I know Braxton wouldn't allow me to. He's been struggling to get out of his carseat for the longest.
"Okay, calm down." I told him before getting out and heading to the backseat to get him out as well. He clung onto my arm as I got him out and put him on my hip. It felt like forever until we reached the front door. I honestly didn't know what to expect.
After Jay kissed me last night, my mind has been going the speed of Lightning McQueen. Braxton watch that show so damn much by the way. I didn't know what kind of reaction to get out of him though. Jay is wishy washy and his temper was on a hundred. I didn't want him to be mad at me for the kiss even though I wasn't the one to initiate it.
"Are you going to knock?" I asked Braxton.
He nodded his head, "I do it."
His soft knocks weren't nothing. I'm pretty sure Jay didn't even hear it so it left me no choice but to knock as well. I put Braxton down on his feet just when the door swung open.
"Daddy!" Braxton yelled, nearly to the top of his lungs. Jay and I stared at one another unsure of what to say. For the first time Braxton had recognized him as his father and on the inside, that made me extremely happy. I could only imagine how Jay was feeling right now.
"Hey B." He said with a smile while picking him up, "You coming in?" He directed towards me. I shook my head and stepped back a little.
"No, I was just dropping him off."
He looked at me with an unreadable expression. That's how it been lately. It's been harder and harder for me to read him.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, just enjoy spending time with him."
He rolled his eyes, "Beyoncé bring your ass in."
Okaaay. And that's exactly what I did. Brought my ass in. I looked around like I haven't been here already before sitting down on the couch. Him and Braxton had went to another room before they came rolling back in. Braxton was in a mini Lamborghini truck that he was driving the hell out of.
"Oh wow, when did you get that?"
"The first day I had him. He has a bunch of toys he like over here now. This one is his favorite."
I nodded my head and watched him drive around, practically running into everything. He blew his horn at me and waved. I laughed while waving back.
"He's a character. But thank you Jay."
He sat down on the other end of the couch, "He's my son. It's what I suppose to do."
It was an awkward silence between us while Braxton drove around. He eventually went into another room leaving Jay and I alone. It made things no better. It was pretty obvious that the kiss that happened yesterday was on our mind but I didn't know how he felt about it and I'll be damned if I brought it up.
"What's Braxton's last name?" He asked.
I looked at him as he stared at the wall waiting for me to answer. We have yet to have this talk about Braxton's like, dislikes, his medical history, etc.
"Carter. Braxton Amir Carter."
A small smile appeared on his face when I said that. I guess he wasn't expecting me to give Braxton his last name, but I did.. unlike Alexis.
