24 Letters ♢ 김남준

✉ 사 ✉

dear kim namjoon,

my mom had visited me today. i was so happy to see her. lately, she had been so busy taking care of documents and money i need for my operation that's why i seldom see her. when i saw my mom entering my room, my heart just want to jump out of my chest. i was both happy and sad. i'm happy to see her. but i'm sad to see those dark circles under her eyes indicating that she's tired. but despite of those, she's smiling at me as if everything's fine.

we talked and laughed just like we used to do when i was young. she gave me a pot of flower. she told me to always take care of it. when my mom left me, i put it near the window so sunlight would stream to the flower and grow. but before i walk back to my bed, i saw a butterfly flying over the flower. it landed on its petal and rested there for a minute. i just stared at the beautiful sight as your song played inside my head.

"don't think of anything
don't even say a single word
just laugh with me"

running thoughts were in my mind like, "can i just be here? can i stay here longer? can i live longer?"

but my traitor migrain struck again, as if reminding me that i can't, that miracle is the only way i could think of to surpass this obstacle.

always yours,
kang nari