✉ 십오 ✉

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dear kim namjoon,

i just received the worse news in my entire life.

my hands were trembling, my shoulders were shuddering up and down and liquid of grief and sorrowfulness were leaking out from corner of my eyes as i wrote this letter. i don't know why i am saying this to you. i don't even know why you have to be the one whom i will tell this. you won't even care and you cannot do anything about it. but i still want to share this. i just want to let this out. i'm not asking for your pity or sympathy. i just want to let this all out cause if i won't, i might just explode the lingering feelings i've been concealing.

namjoon-ssi,

i can't undergo the surgery. my body gets weaker and weaker each day that if i undergo an operation, the chance for me to live is 50:50. the surgeon had told me that the therapy couldn't kill the cancer cells anymore. it keeps on multiplying which is why i always feel the throbbing pain inside my head. all the efforts and preparations my parents had put for my operation were all wasted. i feel like i'm such a burden to them.

namjoon-ssi,

i still wanted to see you. i still wanted to hold your hand. i still wanted to say how much i love you. i'm determined to fight my cancer. but my body is already breaking down. i'm losing my faith. and i'm already losing my remaining hope. what can i do? i don't even know.

always yours,
kang nari

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