Chapter Twelve

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Warning: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

Richie's POV: (finally)

"It's okay to cry" Eddie says and I looked at him. I wiped my tears and he grabbed my glasses putting them on me. "C'mon. We can go to my house" Eddie said. "I thought I wasn't allowed over there.." I said, confused at Eddie's words. "If I tell her what happened then she'll let you stay" he said and we intertwined fingers while walking to Eddies.

When we got there, Eddies mom looked at us both but mostly at me. "Eddie what is he doing here and why are you home so late?!" She asked. "He wanted to sleep over because his mom wasn't going to be home tonight and we were at his house.." Eddie said and she nodded. Maybe the teachers didn't call her.

When we got to his room I put my back pack on the floor. "Imma go change.." I said and walked out after he nodded slightly, and into the bathroom, changing.

I walked into his room to see him just finishing putting his shirt on. "You look tired" Eddie said and I smiled. "You can sleep with me if you want.." Eddie said, thinking twice about what he just said. I nodded and put my glasses on his nightstand next to his pills and laid down right against the wall. He turned the light off and laid next to me. There was a little bit of light from his night light but I didn't mind.

"You don't have to lay right up against the wall, Richie" Eddie said and I moved away from the wall a little but Eddie held my hands and snuggled next to me. All this stress was making me so tired. Soon I was drifted off into sleep.

___The Next Friday_____

I woke up to no Eddie next to me and I tried grabbing my glasses but instead I grabbed a sticky note with something written on it. I grabbed, putting them on, and reading the note.

'Richie,

I went with the Losers to Billy's. I didn't wanna wake your lazy ass up so I let you sleep. If you want you can walk over. My mom isn't home right now because... you're there.. anyways! See you later!

-Eddie'

I sighed and sat on the bed. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence.

I got annoyed with the quiet so I went to the living room, turning the TV on. 'Your own mom doesn't want you' my mind told me. I tried brushing it off but that soon wouldn't work no matter how I tried.

'You can't do ANYTHING right'
'You ruin everything'
'Eddie doesn't love you.. it's just for the bet..'
'You're not important to anyone.. not even the woman who gave birth to you..'

I turned the TV off and went to Eddies room, shutting the door. I laid on the floor as tears streamed down my face. 'You. Are. Nothing!! Get that through your thick skull!! It's better to leave them right now then for them to leave you' my mind told me.

I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged my legs while crying. I got up and walked into the bathroom to see my face. Huge eyes. Oversized lips. Basic hair. 'Life only gets worse.. end it.. end it.. end it.. end it' kept repeating. I opened the cabinet looking for one of Eddies strong pills.

I put the ones that weren't strong on the counter. Some fell over and onto the floor but did I care? No. Today is the day I die. I can't be scolded when I'm dead. When I opened the cabinet under the sink, I found more pills and took one bottle reading the label 'More than 2 pills when needed can do serious damage to anyone from the ages of 12-15' I opened the stupid childproof cap, and sat on the floor, scooting to the corner before counting down from ten.

Eddie's POV:

I opened my room door to see Richie but there was no Richie. "W- w- where's Rich?" Bill asked and I shrugged. We went into the living room and no sign of Richie until I heard counting.

"6....5.." he slowly counted but I ran quickly to the bathroom with the rest of the Losers behind me. "Hey Richie, we wanted to know if-" I looked at him in the corner with my pills in his hand.

"No, no, no, no" I said and went to Richie, taking the pills from his hand and holding him. I looked at the Losers to see them looking around in horror of what they just- almost- witnessed.

"Let me go! I don't wanna live anymore! I don't wanna be alive! I'm nobody and I will never be anybody!" He yelled and tried to get out of my grip but I had a strong grip and soon he gave up and stopped. "I don't wanna continue anymore.." He said and he cried in my chest.

He put his legs out but continued to cry and saying things. I messed with his hair and he soon stopped talking and he became silent.

"Baby, don't cry, I know
You're trying your hardest
And the hardest part is
Letting go of the nights we shared
Death is calling
And you know it's haunting
But compared to your eyes
Nothing shines quite as bright
And when we look to the sky
It's not mine.." I sang while messing with his hair. His breathing steadied letting me know that he was asleep.

"What is that all about?" Stanley asked and everyone asked. "His mom.. kicked him out and let him go back but he didn't want to.. so we came here.. but he wasn't doing so well." I said and my eyes wondered onto the sleeping Richie in my lap. "He had suicidal thoughts?" Beverly asked and I nodded.

"Yeah.. but I don't know for how long" I said and looked up at them. "Beverly, can you carry Richie up to his room and I'll put these pills back" I asked and she nodded. She picked Richie up like he was light as a feather and went to my room.

After the rest of the Losers helped me put the pills in the cabinets, we decided to head out.

I wonder how long has he had these.. thoughts?

A/N: 1045 words ^-^

Edit: bet that was the most amazing thing to see wasn't it, younger me?

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