SEOUL-ISH. ᴱˣᴼ

S01 E01

{cue peaceful music. door to bedroom swings open with a loud creak. chanyeol steps out in a blue robe, yawning and scratching his chest}

{record scratches as two grown men, sehun and jongin, run down the hallway, nearly knocking chanyeol over}

chanyeol:
[silence]

chanyeol:
dammit i hate this god forsaken house

—•—

/CHANYEOL/
i love my house! i don't mind sharing it with two other people, really. its like full house, except my wife is alive... and we all mostly hate each other.

—•—

chanyeol:
[walks down stairs into the kitchen, where jongin and sehun are running around, chasing a small boy in pajamas who is giggling]

chanyeol:
why are you guys terrorizing my son at this unholy hour

sejin:
[runs and hugs chanyeol's leg] they threatened to sell me on the black market if they caught me!

jongin:
[gasps] we said no such thing! we said we'd sell you on amazon, we're classier than the black market!

sehun:
[out of breath] the little fucker stole money out of my wallet again!

chanyeol:
quit acting like you actually have money in your wallet you broke ass

chanyeol:
[looks at sejin, whispers] how much did you take?

sejin:
twenty thousand won

chanyeol:
[pats his son on the head] that's my boy

sehun:
[resists urge to stab chanyeol with a nearby kitchen knife]

jongin:
oh, baekhyun called while you were sleeping. he said to remind you about the triplet's birthday party at three

jongin:
[checks watch] which is in an hour

chanyeol:
shit that's today?? what the hell, i gotta rush out to the store we haven't even bought them birthday presents yet-

{camera abruptly pans out as the front door, which is connected to the kitchen, flies open. chaeyoung marches in with no less than fifty shopping bags}

chaeyoung:
[breathing heavily] I GOT THE PRESENTS DONT WORRY EVERYTHING IS FINE

chanyeol:

sehun:

jongin:

sejin:
mommy!!!!1!1

—•—

/CHANYEOL/
baekhyun has like three hundred kids and every damn year he hosts this huge birthday bash for them because he's super fucking extra. honestly its too much of a hassle to buy a million gifts every single time, he needs to cut this shit out because i cant keep providing his three billion kids with gifts.