Powerlessness ( Loki x Reader )

VII.

Every breath of air I take, I exhale and another piece of me is gone. To be born and die again, I inhale and hold. Let me be me as long as I can. Why can't a moment last forever?

I yell. I scream. I beg. But balm to my frenzied pain is the father that clicks away for eternity. Nigh is the answer that has peeled away at the lining of my stomach, but still my nerves ache with the sting of a blossoming wound.

I am afraid. I am at peace. I am ready. I am ill prepared.

My gun is drawn.

He emerges from a slit in my neck.

With a yawn I sluggishly drag myself into my awaiting shower.

The water beads at my skin with a fresh and more aware pressure. The force against my flesh seemingly newer each coming day. This skin that was me actively transforming along with my senses.

I thought becoming less human would bring the feeling of decay. But each day I feel born again.

As my time here passes, the tests prove my changing more evident. Though my outer appearance has not made any great changes, other than losing a great deal of dead skin my first couple days using the shower; internally I feel I've become a completely new being.

Bringing the loofah to my breasts, I scrub carefully but intently. My nose catches a whiff of it's refreshing herbal aroma.

Rosemary, Spearmint, Clary, Thyme each ingredient speaks to my nostrils at equal volume. As if the dial handling any real human ability I had, has been turned from ten straight up to a billion. Smell, sight, sound, touch; I never thought I could feel more at one with the universe until I found that if I listened carefully, I could hear it's vibrations responding to my every move. How beautiful it is to realize that a body, even when the mind is still; moves constantly. Even in death, our bodies never really cease; we lay in a constant buzz until skin decays to nothing, meat rots to be consumed by maggots and worms, and bones age till dust. And even then we continue on, in the nutrients we feed into the ground and the memories we've left into those who continue to live on. In a universe so infinite I've come to realize that we too are infinite, and that insignificance never truly existed, even when we believe so strongly that it does within us.

But each good to these changes come only after the terror of new a experience, a new trama. Trust me, finding and learning to control more of what I've started to become, has been the very opposite of easy.

That incident in the sitting room with Thor was nothing compared to smelling spoiling lamb meat at close range. Especially when not even moments ago I had scarfed down at least a buffet worth of meat, grain, and fruit; Odin demanding I build strength for testing.

Or when my hearing enhanced after the success of my second test, and Thor felt it be good to celebrate by yelling "Glorious!" As loud as he possibly could. I swear if my eardrums could burst, they would of.

But it's a good thing touch didn't go too awry, because for some reason my stomach has decided to be the last to change. And one more incident like the last three and I might accidentally throw that up too.

Stepping out of the shower, my attention was shifted by the sound of Heimdall's knuckles knocking against bathroom door. "Good Morn, Child!" He greeted sweetly behind the door.

"Good morning, Heimdall!"

"I've taken the liberty of setting your clothes out on the bed for you. I'd advise you move with haste though, should your breakfast get cold."