Powerlessness ( Loki x Reader )

XLIV.

Some dark themes ahead.

"You were born broken."

I stared at his thumb, tracing gentle shapes against my knuckles as a book lay in front of him. In his other hand, a morning coffee, black as tar and tilted partially against his lips.

The morning sun had come in early. Gentle purples that spilled into pinks, the stars blending into the sky. Summer, was among us. The grass suddenly greener, the afternoons blistering; our time nearly at its end.

It's been nearly a month off preparing and I fear we're not ready. Steve and Bruce were a wrench thrown in our gears and after that mild coma, we've only been slacking. I don't even know if we're still on the same page ~ if things are different now. After I became the crystal, after what Thor did... I fear he won't be as passive as we had initially planned.

"(Y/N)."

Bringing my eyes to his, I met his lingering gaze. Silently I wondered how long he had been staring at me.

"You look bothered? Is something the matter?"

"I-" I hesitated. Lying would probably be the worst thing to do after all this. "I'm worried."

Setting his coffee aside, he brought his other hand in mine, squeezing it gently. "Well," He tilted his head to the side. "Spit it out."

I smiled at his slight impetuousness. "Caring yet Brash." His character arc in full. "Loki, our deadline is right around the corner." I shook my head. "I fear we aren't ready."

He bit his lip and nodded, eyes trailing off to the side as he thought a moment. "I suppose it'd be untruthful to say I've not had my fair share of butterflies. In fact, I've been dreading this moment for some time now."

"Do you think-"

"I know, that we are well prepared for the trials that soon pace before us. I'm sure a little more preparation wouldn't hurt. ~ But we're ready." He nodded. "I'm sure of it."

Swallowing thickly, I curled my lips into a thankful smirk. Nodding back at his reassuring words.

"(Y/N)?"

"Yes?"

"May we...talk now?"

His eyes soft but austering, I met his stare in tandem.

"Of course." I whispered.

He sighed, eyes falling to the polished stone adorning our coffee table. His voice wavered slightly, audibly nervous. "I suppose we should address the elephant in the room. What... happened yesterday."

"I'm sorry-"

"Please." He gazed up at me, eyes sorrowful. "Please, don't apologize."

I gulped, nodding.

Opening his mouth to speak, he stopped himself; as if he was doubting what words he had put together in his head. In his eyes, I could see he was scrambling. Throwing away each attempt before even spoken. Too careful to be thorough.

He sighed. "I didn't... I didn't mean to hurt you in any way. To come off as threatening, as if I would.... as if I would strike you." He looked away.

I could see him wince at the last part. Saying it out loud tasting bitter in his mouth. It warmed my heart seeing him so repulsed by even the notion that he'd might do such a thing. Yet, so foolish at how misplaced my fear was. I could only meet him with honesty as I curled my fingers in his.