The Time-Meddlers [Harmione]

22. Lockhart Being a Pain

"How does that look now?" asked Hermione. She and Harry were in the process of redecorating the legendary Chamber of Secrets, and she'd just transfigured the statue of Salazar Slytherin's head into Mrs. Pac-Man. Neither could stand looking at that ugly, crazy wizard. She was answered by loud laughter.

"Looks much better," Harry said in between laughs. "You do realize what trouble we'll be in for ruining this hysterical, er, historical monument if someone ever finds this place."

"That's highly unlikely. In the past thousand years, only you and Tom Riddle were able to open the passage and we are now the only people alive who know this location. Besides, I set it so a simple finite will change it back, and I'll probably do that once we leave Hogwarts. Even if I do forget, the spell should wear out in ten years."

The couple then changed all the snake statues into the Pac-Man ghosts and animated them so they were constantly switching places. They had decided to use the chamber as their private headquarters, and had spent a lot of time cleaning it up and putting shag carpeting on the stone floor.

Harry had felt like an idiot when Hermione suggested he try speaking Parseltongue as Tox. Since he'd always been a Parselmouth before they traveled back in time, he'd never thought of transforming in order to do that. After he'd tried and it worked, he'd commented on how much easier it would've been to obtain the ring Horcrux if he'd have done that. Consequently, he didn't have to carry a thought sphere around to open the doors, but Hermione kept it with her so she could get there alone.

They'd added more light to the chamber and made it warmer and less damp than before. They also warded it against rodents and insects. They even added a full bathroom like they'd done to the cabin they'd lived in before they started meddling with time, along with an office and bedroom, just in case they had to hide down there for an extended period of time. In the office, they wrote down what little information they had about the 'Shadow of Pain.' Mainly it was a list of crimes they suspected this person had committed.

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"Er, welcome everyone to the Practical Defense Club," announced Cedric nervously at the first meeting. They were in a large unused classroom in the Charms corridor of the third floor that Professor Flitwick, the staff sponsor, had recommended. In fact, the Head of Ravenclaw was present, leaning against the back wall. Harry and Hermione, who were standing near the front, were pleased to see nearly fifty students had shown up.

Diggory continued, "As you know, instruction in Defense Against the Dark Arts has been..."

"Uneven in the past," interrupted Gilderoy Lockhart, who'd just entered the room, clad in periwinkle blue robes that would've matched the gown Hermione wore to the Yule Ball perfectly. "Fortunately, with me now teaching the subject, instruction is at a much higher level." He grinned and posed for a moment, showcasing his perfect teeth. "However, I certainly understand the need for all of you to practice hard to get up to the level where your performance in my class will be satisfactory, considering the terrible teachers you were subjected to in the past. Although I must commend you for realizing this problem and working to solve it, Mr. Diggory, you should've come to me so that we could address this problem together."

Harry whispered in Hermione's ear, "Do you think that the crimes that idiot has committed warrant execution?"

"Possibly," she hissed back, "but not here."

In the meantime, Cedric answered the Defense professor in a complimentary tone that anyone with a brain could tell was sarcastic. In other words, Lockhart ate it up. "I realized how busy you must be and how fortunate that we are to have you teaching us at all. I didn't want to add extra burdens to you, so I asked Professor Flitwick to help me, since I knew he has been a dueling champion, and therefore could help us almost as much as you. Certainly enough to get us to the level where our classes should be."