The one she thought was lost

Chapter 33: If only

Robin looked at the spot where Regina had been standing only a second before and couldn't shake the empty feeling in his chest. That feeling he always got whenever she left. A feeling that had become very familiar to him the past week.
He closed his eyes and sighed. He should've never fallen in love with that woman, but then again, since when did he have a choice in the matter?
He took a sucked in a breath and let it out slowly before turning around to face Linda, who had been very quiet ever since she'd seen Regina. Who could blame her?
"Was that-", she started, but Robin interrupted before she could finish her sentence. "Regina, yes, though you might know her better as the Evil Queen", he said calmly, his gaze steady.
He knew what people thought of Regina, Linda was no exception and he could see it in her eyes. They looked at him as if he were crazy and perhaps he was, but he trusted Regina with his son.
"I know what you're going to say, Linda", he started,"I know you think I'm crazy for letting my son near her."
Linda lowered her head for a second before looking at him again, her blue eyes void of any emotion, something he hadn't seen before.
"But-", she prompted and he continued.
"But, I trust her with his life, I trust her with mine. She'd never let anything happen to him."
Linda stared at him again and he stared right back, preparing himself to be yelled at only to be met with silence. He looked back up to see her staring at him, her gaze unreadable.
"You kissed her", she started,"right after we kissed."
Robin swallowed and looked down for a moment to gather his thoughts.
"I'm in love with her, have been for quite a while", he admitted quietly, his brow furrowed as he remebered what had happened in the library. The pain he'd felt when Regina had told him she didn't care about him, and at the time he'd believed her, but now he wasn't so sure.
Robin was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Linda's voice again.
"She's the woman you told me about", she realised and Robin nodded.
She was quiet for another minute before she took a step closer to him. "Go."
"What?", he asked confused.  Linda took a deep breath before she continued. "Go talk to her. You told me you love her and I've seen the way she looks at you, she cares about you too."
Robin opened his mouth to protest, but nothing came out. Linda was right, he had to go talk to Regina and he had to do it now.
"I-Thank you", he told her gratefully and with one more hug, he was gone.

Granny was silent after Regina had admitted to her that she loved Robin, but kept holding her, something Regina was grateful for. She had missed Granny's hugs, she'd missed having someone to rely on when she needed it. She hadn't realised how much she had needed it until now. So she decided to enjoy it for a moment.
After another minute, Regina pulled back.
"Thank you", she whispered and Granny gave a small smile in return. The smile turned serious however and Regina tensed up.
Granny held Regina's head between her two hands and whiped away the tears that had fallen down the Queen's cheeks.
"He needs to know how you feel, Regina", the older woman started and Regina shook her head.
"I can't, Granny", Regina said, tears gathering in her eyes, the guilt of what had happened that day still very much present. Granny gave her a look and Regina felt herself beginning to explain what had happened between them.
"I-About a week ago, Robin came to me while I was looking for a way to defeat Zelena and asked me why I had been avoiding him. I said I wasn't and we fought", Regina said quietly, the memory still painful.
"Ooh, sweetie." Granny pulled her close once again for a small hug.
"He said goodbye while I was unconcious, but I could hear every word he said. There was nothing I could do, Granny, I was just lying there, I couldn't move. He left that same day", Regina finished, the tears streaming down her face as she sobbed once again in Granny's arms.
"Then Zelena came by and took me to see him. He was that woman and they kissed. I can't help but think this is all my fault. I wanted to avoid getting hurt and look where I am now. I-I don't know how to fix this, Granny, I really don't. Magical problems I can handle, but this? I don't know how to do this. I don't what-", she gasped out, her breathing starting to get erratic.
"Regina, I need you to take a deep breaths. Breathe, Regina, breathe", Granny calmly said, rubbing calming circles on Regina's back as she tried to calm her down.
Regina copied Granny's breathing and felt her breathing slowed down as her heartbeat went back to its normal rate.
"I just don't know what to do, Granny, I don't know what to do."
"Neither do I, Regina. This is something you need to figure on your own. You love him and I know that he loves you."
Regina opened her mouth to protest, but Granny continued before she could.
"Don't you dare say otherwise, Regina, I know he does. He's not good at hiding it", she said with a pointed look that made Regina look away.
Granny sighed and took Regina's hands. "Look, I know that you're afraid to get hurt, but by pushing him away you're hurting not only yourself, you're also hurting Robin."
Regina stared at Granny, guilt burning in her stomach.
Granny could see the conflict in her eyes.
"But that's just it. If he somehow still wants to be with me, he's going to get hurt eventually. Maybe not directly by my doing, but certainly because of me. What if someone decides they kidnap Roland to hurt me?"
Granny squeezed Regina's hands and sighed, realising that changing her mind was going to be nearly impossible, so she decided to just let it be.
"Just think about it, okay?" After Regina nodded, Granny gave her a smile and kissed her forehead. She could feel Regina freeze in shock, but decided to ignore it.
"Now, go see your daughter."

Robin had no idea what he was going to say to her when he got back to the castle. He knew Regina was stubborn and that changing her mind was nearly impossible, but he had to at least try, right?
He had been so confident when he had left Linda in the woods, but now he felt his confidence wavering. What if she pushed him away again? Would he be able to handle that kind of rejection like that, again?
He knew he couldn't, but he also knew he had to try. He owned it to her and he owned it to himself.
When he finally entered the castle, he realised how much he'd missed living here for the past week. Robin had to admit that the beds here where a lot more comfortable then the one he had in his cabin. Why was he even thinking about this? It wasn't like he was planning on coming back, was he?
Robin cleared his throat before continuing his way to Regina's chambers, feeling a nervousness settling in his stomach.
When he finally arrived at her chambers, he stopped. Everything was quiet, she was probably already asleep.
Was he really going to do this?
Robin raised his hand towards the large, brown doors and slightly pushed them open, cringing when they made a cracking noice. He held his breath, hoping that he hadn't woken her up. He did not want to be on the recieving end of one of her fireballs tonight.
He let out a sigh of relief when he heard nothing, except for Regina's breathing. He stepped closer to the bed she was lying in and just looked.
Her skin glowed in the moonlight and her long, dark hair lying on her pillow. She looked like a goddess sent from heaven and Robin had to remind himself to breathe.
He couldn't help but take a step closer and kneel down beside her.
"I know I told you that I would stay away and I honestly thought, even for a moment, that I would be able to do it. But then you show up looking like, well you and than I realised I don't want to stay away from you", he whispered, getting caught up in his own thoughts.
"How is it that you can drive me craze with your stubborness, but make me the happiest man in the world by just being you? How is it that I'm so captivated with you that I am not able to stay away, because honestly? If you hadn't shown up tonight, I would've eventually." He let out a little laugh.
"Is it crazy that I have imagined a future with you? You, me, Roland, Daniella and Henry. I know, it's crazy, but it's what I want and I'll wait for you as long as I need to, because I've never felt like this before and I'm not ready to give up on it yet."

Regina didn't know how to react to the words she just heard. Robin didn't know she was awake, had been ever since she'd heard her doors crack. And if she hadn't recognized his footsteps, she would've killed him on the spot.
But she let him come in and than he'd said all thise things and how was she supposed to stay away? She knew her heart was resilient, but she wasn't sure it was that resilient.
She was snapped out of her thoughts when he started talking again.
"And I've tried to hate you, I really have, but I just can't." Regina's heart squeezed and she had to remind herself to keep her breathing soft and regular.
"I can't because no matter how nasty I try, I cannot hate you, because I'm madly in love with you. I'm so in love with you that sometimes I don't know what to do with myself because I know you don't love me."
The guilt she had been feeling earlier came back full force and Regina's fingers itched to grab his hand, but she held back.
" I came here to try and convince you to give us a chance but - " Robin stopped abruptly and Regina held her breath for a moment.
When he started talking again, she nearly let out a sigh of relief that quickly turned into a sob as she heard his next words.
"But I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle you saying no to me again." Robin's voice broke and tears started gathering behind Regina's eyelids.
She felt something wet fall on her hands and realized it was a tear. Robin was crying. Oh God, he was crying. She had to fix this and she had to do it now.
Regina opened her eyes and saw that his hands were cradling hers between them and that his gaze was directed towards the bed.
She closed her eyes once again before opening them and saying something that she never thought she'd say to him.
"I don't think I'd be strong enough to say that again."

*A/N: Here's another chapter!! Thank you for all the response if you been getting, I loved all your comments, so thank you!!!