Cowgirls Don't Cry

Ch 1

(AUTHORS NOTE: I have edited this from the Original chapter I posted. No major changes just minor editing)

 Chapter 1

3 Years Later

I’m in the library huddled over an economics book studying for my final the next morning. I was stressed out. Luckily it was my last final. This summer I would be a paid intern at a publishing firm they said it had the possibility to turn into a full time job after graduation. That would be a dream come true. My dream was to be an author, but the likelihood of that happening was slim. Working in the publishing world would be the next best thing.

I hadn’t gone back to the ranch since Christmas my freshmen year. It’s not that I didn’t want to, it just became too expensive. I had gotten a scholarship in addition to my partial ride from Ok state but the part dad had to pay was still more than he could afford. I had taken to working part time during school and full time during winter and summer breaks in order to pay for my apartment on my own. I missed home and my father, but me staying here helped him more than going back would.

“Lynn?” I look up from my book and see Bobby Tyler, a boy I’d gone on a few dates with last semester. “What are you still doing here?”

“I have my last final tomorrow, morning.” I said gesturing to my open book in front of me.

“What in?” he asks, not waiting for me to respond he closes my book, losing my place, “oh, economics. I know a little about this. I could help if you’d like.”

I snatch my book back from him, realizing again why I stopped seeing him. “I’m good. Thanks.” I pick up my books. “I should be getting back,”

“You want me to walk you back?” He asks, “It’s getting kind of late. Don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“I’m fine.” Grabbing all my stuff, not bothering to put my stuff in my bag. Bobby was such a sleeze. When I first startedtalking to him he was so sweet. Our first date he brought me flowers, held the door open for me, and payed for everything. I was so taken back by his chivelery that I didn’t realize all he wanted was sex until he all but reached up my skirt at the end of the date.

            As im leaving the library my phone starts buzzing in my back pocket. I move over to one of the tables infront of the building and drop my stuff, trying to keep everything from falling on the floor.

 “Hello, hello?” I say into the phone as a water bottle trys to escape from my grasp. “Hello?” I say again but there’s no answer. I look at the screen confused and see [1 missed call] displayed across the screen. I don’t recognize the number so I just shove it back in my pocket telling myself I’ll call the number once I get home. Who calls at 1am anyway? I gather up my stuff and start on my walk home.

I try and stay quiet as walk into the apartment. I don’t want to wake my roommates up. I hadn’t realized how late it had gotten when I was in the library. I always lose track of time when I study. If Bobby hadn’t walked up, I probably would have still been there. I throw my bag on the little, wobbly desk in the courner of the room. I was so lucky to find a fully furnished apartment, close to campus, in my price range. I had hit the trifecta with this place. I sit on my bed trying to decide if I want to shower or just go to bed. All my mussels hurt and I know I shokd just crawl into bed, but I feel dirty. I get up walking to my dresser pulling out a tanktop and pair of underwear, my traditional pajamas. Somewhere between leaving the farm, and this moment I got comfortable with my body. In high school, I hid. I always wore baggy clothes, wishing I was smaller and cuter like all the other girls. I wasn’t fat, I guess my body type would be described as athletic. I was 5’6 130lbs and muscular. I looked like a girl who grew up on a farm. I roll my neck side to side as I walk to the bathroom. I can’t help thinking of Bobby. He was the only guy to show an interest in me this year, not that I was looking for a relationship. I was too focused on school to have time for a relationship, but it’s always nice to be noticed.

I get in the shower letting the hot water run over me, washing the day away. After tomorrow I will be done for the year. Next year I’ll be a senior, graduating early, and working in my dream field. Six more months… I can do this.

I stay in the shower far too long only getting out when the hot water turned to cold. As soon as my bare feet hit the tile its as though a veil of sleep was pulled over me. The walk from the bathroom to my bed took all my remaining energy. I end up laying down, still wet, a towel wrapped loosely around me, and falling asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.