fan girl // niall horan

s i x t e e n

NIALL'S POV

Disgust. That's what I felt. Absolute disgust with myself.

The look on Gabi's face as she told me to leave after yelling at me kept replaying in my head and it made me nearly sick to my stomach.

"Just go" She whimpered out with nothing but pure hurt shown on her face, "I know that this is your house, but please, just leave"

When I said yes to Hailee asking me out, I knew that Gabi wouldn't be the happiest about it but I did not expect a reaction this bad. 

After Gerry talked to me about the whole dating someone "famous" instead of "normal" thing, I coincidentally got a text the same day from one of my good friends, Hailee Steinfeld. I was quite shocked when it was a text of her asking me out. We've been good friends for a while now and I've always got this flirty vibe from her, but I never acted on it because I honestly didn't have an attraction in that way towards her. But after Gerry's thoughts and the fact that she reached out first, I thought why the hell not? What's the harm?

Well, this. Hurting Gabi was the harm. I didn't even get to explain to her why I did what I did.

After she asked me to leave, I reluctantly exited the room and went downstairs where Hailee and Foley were watching TV on the couch.

"How's she feeling?" Hailed asked.

"Could be better. I'm just gonna let her rest" I replied simply, plopping down next to her and slinging my arm around her.

"Is she awake?" Foley asked, sending a glare towards my way. I didn't blame him though, he had every right to be mad. I just hurt his best friend.

"Yeah" I nodded. 

"I'll go check on her" He said simply, removing himself from the couch and walking upstairs.

"I hope she's okay.." Hailee sighed, relaxing into me.

"Me too" I agreed, "Don't worry about her, petal"

"I know, I know. I just feel bad though. I mean, she came all the way out here to have a nice vacation and then she gets sick..like that really sucks" Hailee frowned.

"I know, hopefully she'll get better soon" I replied, hoping to end the conversation. The more I talked about Gabi, the more I thought about her and the more I thought about her, the more I hated myself for doing that to her.

"I really like Gabi" Hailee continued, "She was a bit quiet during lunch, but she was very sweet. And she's so pretty, don't you think? Like who looks that good after a redeye flight? I know I sure don't"

I suddenly got nervous and stuttered, "Uh, y-yeah, she's alright I guess"

Hailee laughed, "'Alright'? Baby, she's gorgeous"

"Yeah, right" I agreed.

Hailee furrowed her eyebrows at me, "You okay? You don't seem well.."

"I'm good, love. Don't worry. Just a bit of a headache" I lied.

She then proceeded to kiss my forehead, "Lay your head down on my lap and close your eyes"

I did as told (even though I was lying) and Hailee started to run her hands soothingly through my hair and hummed 'You and Me' from my album. It was her favorite song.

As relaxing as she tried to make the moment, I couldn't help but try to sort through the scattered thoughts that flew all around my head. 

Here I was with a wonderful and beautiful girl and all I wanted to be was upstairs with Gabi. Hailee and I's relationship made complete sense, but I didn't want it. I wanted one with Gabi. What I was doing wasn't fair to anyone and I didn't know what to do to fix it. All I knew is that I properly fûcked everything up.