Forced To Love | ✔

Chapter 9

Alyssa's POV

I stepped aside to let Anna into my room.

She wrapped her arms around herself as she walked into the room hesitantly.

Her eyes skimmed around the room, quietly observing everything around her.

She settled herself on the foot of the bed and patted the space next to her, signalling for me to sit beside her.

She gazed at me sadly and her lips twisted into a weak smile as she waited for me patiently. I walked to her and sat beside her, leaving a decent gap between of us.

It had been so long since we had a decent conversation with each other, let alone share the same space with each other. It felt awkward and contrived.

In the past, I would have wanted nothing more than to be with my sister. I had imagined what it would feel like to stay up late at night together, paint each other's nails, tease each other about boys, laugh at our own stupid little jokes...I had been silly to think that we would ever share a strong bond.

Now, I barely wanted to be around her. If I had the chance, I would have left in a heartbeat.

But, leaving wasn't an option, not when I'm so close to finding out the truth.

"I see you that you have a lot of blue stuff in your room. I never knew you liked blue so much.", Anna giggled awkwardly as she glanced around my room.

However, I couldn't laugh with her. I couldn't force myself to be forget everything and pretend that all was good.

"I bet you don't know a lot of things about me. Not that you cared anyway.", I snapped at her.

Her face fell instantly. A pang of guilt washed over me. Anna swallowed hard and bit her lip while looking away towards the windows.

"Anna...", I murmured.

"No, you're right. Its true. I don't know a single thing about you. I have never tried to learn anything about you. And, it has always been my fault. It was me who pushed you away all this while.", she choked as tears started pouring down her face.

I looked at her in disbelief. She was admitting that she had deliberately distanced herself from me. I kept quiet, waiting for her to say more.

"Alyssa, I'm so sorry for all that I have done. I had failed to be a good sister to you. I was not there for you when you needed me. I was jealous of you.", she sniffled in between her sobs.

"What? Why...why on earth would you be jealous of me?", I stammered.

"I don't know Alyssa...I guess I only wanted all the attention to myself. I was selfish. That's the reason why I forced myself to do well in school, in sports and in everything. I wanted everyone to give their attention and shower praises on me, only me. Whether it was mom, dad, our relatives, friends, the entire school.... even Henry.", she peeked at me guiltily.

I gawked at her with my mouth wide open. I couldn't believe what I had just heard.

"What do you mean, Henry?", I questioned her.

"I knew Alyssa. I always knew you had feelings for him. The moment you laid eyes on him. It was obvious that you liked him. It was plastered all over your face. I could see from the way you behaved when he was around us. Of course, I knew that you wanted Henry.", she explained.

Before I could say anything, she continued.

"So, I wanted Henry for myself. I deliberately showed interest in him. It was not difficult to make him like me. I was just as attracted to him as he was to me. Initially, I didn't have much feelings for him. I just wanted to make you feel miserable." Anna paused briefly before fresh new tears clouded her vision.

I stared at her in utter disbelief. I could barely utter a word after what she had said.

"At the same time, I didn't want you to know that I had Henry and that he was mine. Deep down, I was petrified that maybe you would do something to sabotage our relationship. You were very infatuated with him. I was paranoid. A part of me was afraid that you might do something to ruin us. But also, I didn't want you to move on from him either. I wanted you to continue trying to win his affection that he would never give you. I made him crazy for me. I made him head over heels for me. I manipulated every little thing to make myself perfect before him. He was hooked to me. It was apparent that he would never reciprocate your feelings. However, I didn't want to take any chances. So, I made him hide our relationship as long as we could."

"Oh my god...", I gasped loudly.

"Please believe me, I didn't know what possessed me to do all of this. I was so caught up with my own self that I was oblivious to what I was doing and hurt you so much. I'm so sorry Alyssa.", Anna took my hand in hers and looked at me pleadingly.

In that moment, I wanted to pull my hands away from hers and scream at her for having done what she did to Henry and myself. But, my hands still held onto her firmer than before. I couldn't let go of her even if I wanted to.

No matter what she did or what she said, my love for her has always been in me. I couldn't despise her no matter how much I wanted to. Even if I was upset with her now, I knew that with time, I would be able to find the strength in me to forgive her.

"Alyssa, you also need to know about Henry and me. I may have pretended to like Henry in the beginning. But, I did love him and still do with all my heart. Henry is a good man. He deserves all the happiness in the world. Until I left, I was his happiness. And, I have done nothing but robbed him of it I don't know if Henry will ever forgive me for what I have done.", she scooted closer to me and hid her face in my shoulder. I could feel her tears soaking into the fabric of my sweater.

"Anna, what did you do? Please tell me.", I coaxed her.

I felt her nod against my shoulder as she started to share every single detail of what had happened.

After she was done, I couldn't help but feel disgusted with her.

"How could you Anna? How could you have done this!", I pulled away and barked at her, unable to subdue my rampant temper.

"I know, what I did was unforgivable. To both of you. And, I'm now being punished for that. But, I need to make things right." Anna clinched onto my arm, desperately attempting to placate me.

"Make things right! Are you out of your freaking mind!", I yelled at her, even louder than before.

Despite that, she still didn't flinch nor did she release me. She wouldn't let me go until she had poured her heart out.

"Yes Alyssa, I want to make things right. And, I need both Henry's and your understanding and acceptance in this...please.:", she implored me.

"Fine, just say what you want to say.", I snapped at her.

"I want you to make Henry fall in love with you. I want both of you to be love and remain happily married. That's my wish. That's the only way I can make things right."

"Just get out. Get out of my room, now!", I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Anna released me immediately and passed me a desolate look, as though she had lost all hope.

Before she left, she turned around to look at me one last time.

"I know you will do the right thing. Henry needs you now more than ever. You will understand soon.",

With that, she closed the door and left me to wallow in despair. 

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