Borrowed Wings (Phan fiction)

Chapter eight

(Warnings mentioned in this chapter: Swear words, slight homophobic(?), angst)

Not even one confidence can be brought up for a phone call.

Dan's hand has been shaky for the last five minutes with Phil by his side. He stared onto his contacts whether he could try contacting the person now or the other day where he felt he was ready.

Dan, of course, was ready. Yet, doubts kept weighing him down. He has been practicing the conversation for days with the help of his best friend Phil Lester. He cannot fathom why it has been a struggle for him since he knew it was just a phone call.

Just a phone call.

He sighed deeply and looked to Phil, giving him a hint he was ready to call someone his feelings out. Phil nodded and left the room, leaving Dan for privacy.

Dan pressed the caller's number and lifted his phone onto his ear as it rang. His heart races as each vibration rung in his ears. It kept going on and on until nobody picked it up. Maybe she knew it's me. He thought.

The exact number rang back, giving Dan hope.

"Hello?" The woman from another line called. "Hello." Dan replied, as he dried off his sweaty palms against his skinny jeans.

"Daniel baby? Is that you?" The woman ask, almost in excitement. "Mum." Dan curled a smile. He hasn't used the word since the day he ran off. He couldn't control himself from smiling. His heart raced.

"Oh my," his mother was thrilled. He could hear her voice cracking from the end of the line. "I was so worried about you, dear." He could hear her sniffed and by the tone of hers. She was elated.

"I miss you, mum." Said Dan, laying down on the bed. He pulled a pillow and placed his head on it. "I really miss you too, my loving angel. So does dad and Adrian." She giggled, still sobbing after hearing her son.

Dan out of nowhere chuckled. The name of his little brother. The little boy who looked up to Dan because he was the oldest. The boy he admired. Adrian who would try to be like Dan, because of their blood and DNA.

Poor Dan had to ran off, leaving Adrian to ponder off on his on when his inspiration came to be idle. "May I speak to Adrian?" Dan asked.

"Honey, he's not here. I'm sorry."

His heart dropped. His favourite little brother. His whole world. He can't hear his little brother's voice just for once. Wrong timing.

"Why?"

"Adrian is at a sleepover. I can ask him to call you tomorrow." Dan felt enlightened. A little excitement in his heart began to sing. He loved his little brother so much.

"How are you anyways?" His mother asked, as the conversation went normal.

"I'm fine, at a friend's house and calling you." Dan tossed into his side, leaning the phone next to his ear lazily. "And how are you?"

"Oh, I just walked in your room and I see Mr. Munchkins missed you so!" His mother teased. Dan turned red as he smiled from ear to ear.

Munchkins was a teddy bear who was given as a gift when Dan was born. Dan grew up with him and slept with him until he packed away and left him alone.

Hearing the name of it, aches Dan so much for it was his little comfort. He has been so anxious for the future, he forgot about his little bear. His little Mr. Munchkins.

"Tell him I miss him." Dan requested, hearing his sounds from the other line. "Hello Mr. Munchkins," his mother greeted in a low tone, causing Dan to spill out a high pitch laughter.

"Mum stop!" Dan pleaded as he laughed.

"My baby boy misses you so much."

"Oh! I miss my little Dan too!" His mother changed into a higher pitch.

"Mum please stop!" Dan laughed. His mother did too. They laughed as hard, as if they've been living together in one house.

Dan thought about it. Why was he feeling at home? He did ran away and felt his parents kicked him out even though it was without notice.

Did his mother forget about the letter he wrote to her? Did she not care who he was because she was acting cheery behind the phone?

Was she aching for Dan as much he aches for her presence because it has been so long since he haven't heard her sweet voice?

"Dan, dear." His mother called his name, causing him to lose his thoughts. "I'd like to know why'd you call."

"Mum, I know this is complicated and not easy for you to accept, but at least I need you to support me."

Dan spoke. His voice began to be breathy and trembling. "I'm bisexual. I like both men and women."

"Dan-"

"And," Dan cut her off. "I ran away because of me being so scared of you and dad. I was scared that you'll take Adrian away from me because of me being myself. So please take the chance to support me for once?"

"Dan, I can't do it." His mother sighed, "You know I do not support those kind of gay stuff. I love you, but I can't support my son being part of it."

"It's not this shitty club. I know how I feel. This is how I fucking am!" Dan snapped. His eyes began to water.

"Daniel James Howell, you cannot be bisexual! This is just you being confused." His mother softly spoken, yet he knew she was holding in her anger inside.

"I am not confused! I fell in love with Jake-"

"Ah, so it's that git who made you like this? The guy you always hung out with. Did you ran away with him too?" She hissed.

"NO! We don't hang out anymore! Didn't you read my letter?"

"You never left me anything, Daniel! No fucking letter."

And Dan almost screamed, not knowing his mother never read his letter. He sobbed as his mother listened. He could hear her crying as well.

"Son," his mother spoke as sobs continued. "I love you, but I won't let Adrian be a queer like you." Dan groaned in anger. He wouldn't influence Adrian to be gay. Adrian was as unique as Dan.

Dan wouldn't force his little brother to be queer.

"He's not supposed to be like this. Dan, you're just following the lifestyle. People are turning abnormal and I can't fathom why you want to follow them."

"I cannot fathom why you're being a stupid bitch." Dan screamed as warm tears continued streaming down his cheeks. He closed his eyes, only to let his eyes burn a little from crying.

"Daniel-"

"I wish I have a mother who fucking cares and understands me." Dan ended the call, only to throw his phone across the room and held his face whilst crying.

Him being noisy from crying made Phil go inside the room swiftly and pull Dan for a hug.

"She wasn't happy with it, was she?" Phil asked, only to receive a nod from Dan. "Shh, don't cry," Phil cooed. He rubbed Dan's back and rested his chin onto Dan's shoulders.

Of course, the conservative woman and maybe her man weren't happy. Dan wasn't happy. Yet, he felt like that his mother doesn't love him no more.

Dan cannot accept that his mother turned down a single request that could change both of their lives. The past will linger, but the future will take over and no more happiness will come between them.

Reality was harsh for him and it was making him anxious.

*a/n: I'm sorry if Wattpad is acting like a bitch by constantly reminding you that I updated 3 fucking times. I lost my chapter for no reason and had to write it again. However, I was lucky enough to save most of the chapter.