Angel with no wings

Chapter 8

Dear Carrie

I couldn't finish my letter last time, so I am writing you once again.

Where was I?

Oh yeah.. me and Lily.

So she stood so close to me and she smelled almost same as you, I guess you two must of been using parfume from same brand.

Well I felt her warm breath on my neck. I knew excatly what she wants, but I can't give her that ... yet.

Before she could of do it I moved back.

She gave me a confused and then sad look.

"Sorry." I couldn't think of anything else in that moment. But I wasn't sorry. Okay this sounds selfish but I am not ready.

"Why did you move back?"

"I told you before. I don't know about my feelings yet."

"Oh Luke.."

"Don't be mad, I like you. A lot. But I am just not ready for anything more than friends."

"Okay..." She was talking like I hurt her but if I would of kiss her it would hurt me.

"Oh forget it, come here."

She looked up with hope in her eyes. I gave her a tight hug. She really smelled great.

A big reminder of you.

But no I didn't kiss her. It would of been to much.

"I love you Luke."

When she said it I froze. I wasn't able to talk. Did she expect my answer or what? I just swallowed air and started feeling hot. 

"I .. you.."

"You don't need to say you love me as well, I can wait till you decide."

"Thanks." I barerly said and got it out with struggle.

"I should go Lily."

"Okay, yeah me too. See you soon?"

"Yep, in school."

"Hey!" She yelled behind me when I turned to walk away.

"Yes?!"

"We could of go tomorrow morning, together!"

"Fine! See ya. Bye!"

"Bye!"

"I'm sorry.." I said it more to myself than her.

I came home all confused and red.

My mum gave me a lecture about how I should behave in public. What does make her think I did something? Can I just feel hot sometimes?

God she can be irritating. And my dad? Yeah he doesn't even care what i do. If I would end up in hospital I bet he wouldn't even bother to come.

Yeah my family is weird. People told me my mum is so nice. Well the old woman I meet on my way to home.

Kids? No, they hate me. 

I may be a singer but I am not popular as a kid in my own school, how will I have sucess in the world?

Ashton said he misses you again. He tells me that every day. I bet you miss him too.

Carrie if I had one last wish I would wish for you to coem back. I miss you.

And me being selfish and misserable as always I tried something I regret. 

But let's talk about that next time. I am too tired now.

Be good Carrie.

                                                                                         Love

                                                                                                   your loyal BFF Luke xx