In A Quest For Love

Chapter 18.

Yes, I know, I am so lazy. But the ghost readers are the cause. Ya don't motivate me no more. So until you decide to vote and comment plenty, I will just rest.

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When something is destined for you, never in a million years will it be for someone else.

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Its been four months,

Four agonizing months, of pain, anguish and suffering.

I had hoped, I had prayed that Aslam would come back to ask for forgiveness but no, he didn't come, he never called even. I tried calling him but it seems he changed his number.

I was heartbroken, shattered and in pain through out my iddah period (waiting period after a divorce). But through out those days, I didn't give up, I had prayed Aslam would come back for me, but he didn't. And now, there's no way. The waiting period is over. It was over a month ago.

I am officially a divorcee.

A divorcee after seven months of marriage; a divorcee at the age of twenty, well, almost twenty one.

When people found out about my divorce, different rumours were heard, different rumours that pained me. They blamed everything on me, without knowing the cause. I had cried even more when I heard what they said, but Basma consoled me saying,

"Rumours are carried by haters, spread by fools and accepted by idiots."

That calmed me a little, I stopped thinking about what they said. But I was still in pain.

I was in so much pain, I couldn't share it with anyone. It hurts a lot but I kept it to myself, so it doesn't hurt others.

I love him so much but he doesn't really care. He had always wanted to divorce me, he had said it. He didn't like me one bit.

I chuckled dryly remembering how I threatened Aisha that he would be mine. I thought he would fall for me, I really thought he would. Just like how it happens in movies and novels.

But little did I know that life is not like a fairytale.

Umma had said, "Never compare your marriage to the ones you see in movies or novels. They are written by writers and screenwriters. Yours was written by Allah."

I knew mine was written by Allah, but I couldn't help but feel shattered, it's a test, I know. A test I hope I will pass.

I have been physically and emotionally weak, I isolate myself in my room. Ha! The room in my fathers house which I thought I would never come back to, but here I am calling it my room once again.

But I never stop praying, I never stop praying to the Almighty. I pray he ease my pain and maybe reunite me with Aslam once again. I love him so much.

Aslam's parents have been coming over to see me but I don't meet them. I couldn't face them. I wasn't angry at them but I just couldn't meet them.

Khalil too, he visits everyday but I refuse to see him too. I blame him for everything even though it's not totally his fault. I just need to blame it on someone.