Scattered Sanity (Sanvers)

A Lifeline.

Thank you for everything.

That was the worrying text message that Maggie received from Alex at 5:32 PM, sent with no prior context. Maggie was unable to judge a precise tone due to the lack of given facial features, but it sounded resigned, almost as if she was saying farewell. Even with that deduction, she was just as confused as before. She had seen the light in Alex's eyes, there was no doubt about that, and it looked as though she was on a steady, continuous path to recovery. This text defied those observations, leaving Maggie concerned and dumbfounded.

The brunette couldn't drag her mind away from the cryptic message for the rest of the day. She kept trying to search for possible signs that Alex exhibited, ones that would indicate high levels of distress. Unfortunately, Maggie couldn't find anything. She knew that Alex did her best to carry the full weight of her own problems, but Maggie often identified any behavioral shifts very quickly. Since she hadn't detected any changes, she tried to convince herself to forget about the message and focus on something else. However, there was a persistent nudge in her mind, reminding her that there was an imbalance, one that should be corrected.

What if Alex was truly in danger?

That question made Maggie's stomach turn. She didn't want to envision Alex in any sort of peril, especially considering what she had to endure for two years. No, Alex had to be fine. But her concern did not abate.

Maggie restlessly tossed and turned in bed, her body exhausted but her mind wide awake, so preoccupied with thoughts of Alex. She chewed her lower lip anxiously, trying to sift through her whirlwind of thoughts. She just couldn't dismiss the idea that Alex was in danger.

Finally, she shoved the covers off of herself, grabbing a jacket and slipping on shoes before walking out of her apartment, her entire body tense. The cool night air didn't help to relax her at all, so the pace of her footsteps gained speed. At the moment, she was too spastic to drive a car, so hurried strides would have to suffice. She just hoped it would be enough. Her hands twisted together as she walked, and she kept shaking her head in a futile attempt to jostle her worries out of her skull.

When Maggie arrived at Kara's apartment, she opened the door silently, peering into the darkened residence. She squinted to try to improve her low field of vision, but when that proved ineffective, she resorted to flicking on a light switch. The kitchen came into a bright focus, enough so that Maggie could spot three folded piece of paper on the table. The detective's chest tightened, and she hoped that those papers weren't what she thought they were.

Gulping down an agitated breath, Maggie went to inspect the sheets, though it felt like she was moving through molasses. Facing the creased pages, she discovered that they were letters, intended for Kara, J'onn, and...herself. A cold layer of ice crystallized over Maggie's heart, chilling her blood and numbing her to the bone. Twitching fingers took hold of the note and unsteadily smoothed out the folds. Maggie had to force herself to read the paper, though her mind was screaming at her to turn back, and her stomach was wound into nauseating tangles and coils. But this was Alex. She needed to find out what was wrong. So, with an unstable resolve, Maggie dropped her eyes to the text on the page.

Maggie Sawyer,

Out of all the people I've been introduced to since my rescue, you were the most intriguing. I'll never be able to forget when you flung open the door to my hospital room, and the way you crumpled so brokenhearted after you recognized my lapse in memory. For that, I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. If I had known about our past, things could have been so different.

I've already told you that I'm glad I met you, but I want to emphasize that again. From what I know, I was extremely lost and oblivious before you came into my life, but once you did, I blossomed for the first time ever. You got me to accept myself for who I am, and you showed me what it means to love someone. You saved me from spinning in clueless circles for the rest of my life. And that wasn't the last time you saved me.

Ashton had total control over me. I couldn't do anything, because all of my darkest memories were emptied onto me at once, and I was suffocating under their weight. But you managed to not only get Ashton off of me, but you were also able to make me feel like I was safe. And I knew that I was most definitely safe, pressed to your chest and wrapped in your familiar arms. You saw me in front of you, raw, broken, and helpless, but none of that mattered to you. Still, despite my gross vulnerability, you were able to find me. And I can't thank you enough for that.

Maggie, you told me that you never stopped loving me. That notion seems so ridiculous to me. How could anyone truly love someone as defective as I am? It just doesn't make sense.

Well, I had a lot of time to reflect on things. I found myself thinking a lot about you, and thinking about what our past relationship was like. I thought about what it would be like to be with you again, but ultimately decided that I would never be enough for you. There is too much darkness in my head, and I would just bring you down with me. I am very fond of you and your company, and I would do anything to spend more time with you.

But my time is up.

I'm defeated. The monstrous demons in my head have finally won, and there's no point in fighting anymore. I really wish I could have known you better.

I'm sorry, Maggie. Goodbye.

With love,

Alex Danvers.

Maggie threw a hand over her mouth to contain her sobs. She had to find Alex before it was too late. Stuffing the note in her pocket, Maggie ran out of the apartment, her mind scrambling for ideas of where Alex would be. The roof sprung into her brain, and without hesitating, Maggie raced up the stairs, adrenaline coursing through her frozen veins. Determination propelled her legs, and she made it to the roof, busting through the door. Then, she stopped fully.

Alex was facing the other way, teetering on the edge of the building. The breeze tousled her dark red waves of hair, and despite the dire circumstances, she stood tall. Until she began to sway more dramatically, looking to plummet to her demise.

Maggie sprinted forward and grabbed onto Alex's wrist, her fingers locked around the other's arm to catch her.

Alex twisted around to see who had prevented her from tumbling, and her face fell at the sight of Maggie. "Maggie, let me go." She pleaded.

All the brunette could do was shake her head.

"I said, let me go!"

"I can't! You can't do this, Alex!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Because," Maggie scooped up Alex's face in her hands and smashed their lips together, a kiss overflowing with emotion and oozing passion. It wasn't soft and sweet, but it was raw and genuine, two broken souls combining, two broken halves finally reunited as a whole, how it was always meant to be. Salty tears flooded their mouths, and Maggie finally remembered what it felt like to kiss Alex again. Never dull, never without meaning, always filled with love. Always perfect.

Maggie pulled Alex away from the edge before breaking their kiss, red-faced and panting. "Because I love you, Alex. And I lost you once, and it was the absolute worst time of my life. I can't lose you again."

Alex sniffled, then flung herself into Maggie's awaiting arms and let her facade dissolve, melting sorrowfully into the other woman. "I love you too." She choked out, gripping onto Maggie's jacket and pressing her face into her shoulder.

"Yeah?" Maggie asked, stroking Alex's hair.

"Yeah." Alex replied.

The two slowly sunk to the floor, wrapped in each other's arms. Two shattered people, two scattered sanities, and two hopefuls. As they sat, the world around them became muted, and they could feel their weary hearts beating together. They could feel their broken hearts start to work again, and they realized that these were the first beats since Alex's abduction. The first pulses that signified a rekindled love, a flame built from a weak spark. Two scarred hearts pounded triumphantly, a new light, a new life.

They were alive. Together.

THE END.