Finding The Way

Chapter 4 - The Meal With #Her

Erica made sure she got the restaurant early and before Cyn did. She spoke to the waitress and sat down at her allocated table. She looked through Instagram and saw a picture of Cyn. She stared at the photo of Cyn and couldn't believe how stupid she was to even risk losing Cyn especially over Rich Dollaz. Time began to fly and it was 4:20pm, there was still no sign of Cyn. Erica began to get agitated. Erica was starting to lose hope when she looked up and finally saw Cyn walk in through the door. She thought to herself "She looks so sexy right about now". Cyn began scanning the room for Erica when their eyes finally met. They both stared at each other and then Erica smiled. Cyn began to walk over.

Erica: "Hey beautiful, you look amazing" She got up and grabbed the chair for Cyn whilst she sat down.

Cyn: "Thanks, and yourself."

Erica: "For a second I thought you wasn't going to come."

Cyn: "Nah I said I was going to be here, I wouldn't lie, I just was running later than expected."

Erica: "Either way I am glad your here now, shall I order you some food?"

Cyn: "Yeah please, you should already know what I want" She said smiling at Erica. Erica looked back at her and smiled back. Over came the waitress and Erica ordered food for both her and Cyn alongside some drinks. Cyn was sitting at the table twiddling her thumbs, she felt just as nervous as she knew Erica would be. There was a moment of silence, which was quite strange to them. Erica didn't know what she wanted to say. She waited so long for this moment with Cyn that she didn't prepare for what she would actually do if it happened.

Erica: "About last night, I'm sorry." 

Cyn: "Well.. What are you sorry for Erica?"

Erica: "Being a hot mess, making assumptions, embarrassing us"

Cyn: "I think you embarrassed yourself, more than you did me"

Erica: "I know and I shouldn't have done that, it's just seeing you with someone else drove me crazy. I only want to be the only person that you are seen with"

Cyn: "But you know thats not the case at the moment! So you either gonna have to get use to it or we just don't be in the same environment"

Erica: "I don't want to do either of them. I just want to hold you and be with you and only you. I don't think you understand how unhappy I have been since we stopped talking. The only person I can think about is you"

Cyn looked at her. She knew that Erica was in a place of hurt right now and so was she, but she didn't want to give in easily. Before she would have been a sucker for Ericas puppy eyes but being away from Erica made her digest what Erica really did to her which was play with her emotions and not just that but on television. Cyn was lost in her thoughts that she didn't realise Erica had stopped talking.

Erica: "Cyn? Are you listening to me?"

Cyn look confused. She questioned herself, was she actually listening to what Erica was saying or was she just lost in Erica's beauty. "Yeah I am listening" Cyn responded.

Erica: "Listen Cyn, I am sorry  for everything especially that Rich thing. I was naive and stupid and I have realised now that it's always been you that I want"

Cyn: " Clearly not because if that was the case you wouldn't be in the studio with Rich"

Erica: "Cynthia come on don't say that..you know it's you and only you. Im telling you that now!"

Cyn: "It isn't just me, if it's not Rich it will be someone else. I just don't know if I can believe anything you tell me"

Erica looked hurt by that remark. She wanted to just grab and kiss Cyn so badly, but she couldn't. She was in pain. Erica spoke up "Believe me when I say I love you, I miss you, I only wanna be with you and you mean the world to me"

Cyn smiled. Her front was stopped. She wanted to be hard headed about the situation and be strong but she couldn't. The things Erica were saying were exactly what she wanted to hear. 

Cyn: "I just don't know Erica. I can't say Im done with you because clearly I'm not else I wouldn't be here. I just want some space and some more time. Time to work out if you actually want me like you say you do"

Erica: "Well I am prepared to wait... even if its for years and years. You mean so much to me and I don't want to lose you baby. Just at least answer my calls and texts?"

Cyn: "Yeah I will.."

Erica: "How much time do you need though?"

Cyn: "Honestly, I don't know" By this time the food had came out and both of them began to eat. Throughout the meal they remained staring at each other like old times. They were laughing about the old times and the old feelings that they had were coming back. It was as if they were back to where it all began. The beautiful moment was ruined by a call on cyn's phone. She declined the call the first time but it began to ring again. 

Erica: "Answer it, it's okay"

Cyn: "Well its Jay in case your wondering"

Erica gave a look of disgust. She barely knew this Jay guy and she already hated him with the purest passion. She looked heavily into what Cyn was saying in the conversation. What stood out was Cyn when she said "Yeah I had a good time last night aswell, and once I've finished eating I'm on my way to yours". The remarks Cyn was making were having an effect on Erica. She became irritated and annoyed with Cyn. She didn't understand why Cyn needed to spend so much time with this Jay boy and it was pissing her off. She looked at Cyn.

Cyn: "What now Erica? Don't start.."

Erica: "Why you going to meet him? And what was so good about last night, where did you stay?"

Cyn: "Not this again Erica, I'm not beat for this today."

Erica: "Yes  this again, I am just asking simple questions, just answer them for fucks sake"

Cyn: "Why you gonna ruin this? It was starting to go well.. You always got a fucking problem" Cyn was also getting annoyed. She didn't feel she should have to explain herself to Erica. They weren't together at this stage and Erica was ruining the chances they had of being together again. Erica just looked at her and stayed silent. She continued eating her food and then looked everywhere but Cyn.

Cyn: "Seriously Erica is this what were doing?" Cyn began to pick up her belongings from the floor and picked up her phone. Erica still made no comment, she made no eye contact with Cyn.

Cyn: "Erica? What is wrong with you.. Aw I'm done for today." Cyn began to open her purse to put some money towards the bill. As she began to do so Erica looked at her and shook her head indicating she didn't need to pay for anything. Erica still didn't know what to say. Her pride was holding her back from saying what she really wanted to say. She was too concerned with where Cyn was going and getting more information about the Jay guy. Cyn remained standing there for a few seconds and then her phone rang again. She answered it and finished the conversation with "I'm just on my way". Erica stared at her hard and looked seriously annoyed.

Erica: "This is how we leaving it yeah?"

Cyn: "Yeah I guess so..Thats on you yeah I hope you know that"

Erica: "What the fuck. Its you whose leaving me for your new nigga?! Am I meant to be happy?"

Cyn looked at Erica with despair. She had no words for Erica at this point. She didn't need to justify that answer with a response. Erica should know Cyn's loyalty was with her. Cyn and Erica both looked at each other. 

Erica: "Whatever, go meet your new nigga. Seeing as you ain't said no"

Cyn: "Your pathetic Erica, I haven't got time. Thanks for the meal. I'll speak to you another time"

Cyn was tearing inside, she didn't want to leave the situation like that but Erica was giving her no choice. When Erica acted childish and pathetic, Cyn gives her no attention at all and this was another case of that. Cyn began walking towards to door. Erica put her head in her hands. She knew she was fucking it up still and not making matters any better, but her jealous side couldn't help it. She watched Cyn leave and then picked up her phone and texted Cyn saying:

'I'm Sorry, Erica x'