cry | hyunjin {√}

fourteen

— family

anger can lead to another thing, anger can make everything you see turn dark, anger can make you cruel. people refused to forgive and forget for they are too occupied on pitying themselves and pretending that they are the only one hurting. yes. it isn't an easy thing but they could atleast try. now, raesung understood why anger is part of the seven deadly sins because it almost made him a murderer.

he can still feel the coldness of the gun on his hands, the way he pulled the trigger made him dizzy and the sound of a gunshot echoing through the area still rang on his ears. everything was too fast, a broken scream cut him off his stance and he dropped the gun on the cold hard ground. his hands weren't tainted in blood, it was tainted with sin.

vivid memories of those 8 boys running to their unconscious friend lingered on his mind. he didn't even knew if hyunjin was still alive, it made him terrified. he always hated the fact that his father murdered someone but everytime that thought crossed his mind, he would make an excuse that his father just did it because he was tired of life and was broken by it. he love him for he was the only one who looked at him as if he was a blessing sent from above, his father accepted him despite his mom being a prostitue. his father accepted his mother but she was too blind to see how much he loved her, was to deaf to hear his pleas to stop her madness.

raesung's eyes stayed glued on the ground as the police guided him on a table. someone came to visit him in prison. a bitter smile formed on his lips, he was no different from his father.

he refused to meet his eyes when he sat down. he was too ashamed on what he did and he didn't want anyone to look at him in the eyes because he was afraid that he might corrupt them too.

"raesung." woojin called out but he still didn't look at him. the older boy heaved out a sigh as he patted raesung on the shoulder.

"revenge isn't the solution saeng." he bit his lip as he took woojin's hands and bowed his head on the table. he was crying.

"i-i'm sorry hyung. i was too blinded with fury, i didn't mean it!"

"you almost killed someone rae, that's a not a reason. death is unreasonable." he didn't know what to say because he knew that woojin was right. he was a sinner and a criminal.

"i'm sorry. i'm sorry for everything. please forgive me." he said in between sobs.

"you shouldn't be saying those words to me." raesung nodded as he looked up to meet his eyes.

people cry not because they're weak, people cry because they're human. they have feelings, they have a heart. crying isn't a weakness for it is the only way for us to feel a little better. the more tears we shed, the lesser the heaviness we feel in our hearts.

laugh all you want but never forget that you can also cry because you're human. and it's okay, it's fine. no one is stopping you. you are you.

"i-is he still alive?" woojin gave him a little smile in return as he stood up from his chair and left the younger boy. sadness was evident in his hues as he left the place. he can feel something wet rolling down his cheeks and for a second, he thought that he was crying. it was raining. quickly running on a waiting shed, he texted chan that he would be a little late since he didn't bring any umbrella with him.