Treat You Better

31.

I stared at the ceiling listening to my alarm go off.

I haven't slept.

All night I have just stared at the ceiling, thinking back to a time where I was so relaxed, so stress free.

I lazily moved off my bed and over to my vanity table, I looked at the girl in front me. She is a stranger, I no longer know the girl who looks back at me. I idly threw my hair up in a half-up, half-down bun and cleaned my face with a wipe before applying a little lip balm. I can't be bothered for much else this morning. I threw on some sweats and grabbed my bag for school.

I leisurely slumped down the stairs to find my parents sitting in the kitchen, obviously waiting for me to come down.

"What's going on?" I asked, without expression.

"The school phoned us." My mom responded. I sighed and moved around the kitchen to get some coffee, today I needed it strong.

"Are you okay?" My dad asked. I could hear the sympathy in his voice.

"I don't want your sympathy dad, I don't need it. If anyone should have it, it's Tyler and Ash. I don't deserve it." I spat.

"Don't speak to your father like that." My mom ordered.

"Like what? You can't pretend like what I did wasn't incredibly shitty. You can't sit there and tell me that it will be okay and whoever posted those flyers is going to be punished." I ranted. I knew their looks on their faces when I walked down, they were going to console me and tell me that it would be okay and that I should just focus on getting into college but I didn't deserve it. I don't deserve anyone's kindness or compassion.

"It was, incredibly shitty." She said. "But you're going to get over this."

"Get over this, mom, I cheated on my boyfriend with his brother, my best friend's boyfriend. I can't get over it." I was surprised at how blunt I was being. I had never spoken to my parents about anything like this before.

"Yes, we know. And we are incredibly disappointed in you but we are more concerned for your future." My father added.

"I don't have a future." I fought. I don't care if I sounded pessimistic, at the moment I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I began to walk away but they weren't finished.

"You still have your job." I scoffed.

"I'm suspended. I was caught arguing with Luke in the janitor's closet." I admitted. They said nothing, they just stared at me, their little girl who could do no wrong. Or so they thought.

"Stop babying me. I fucked up and there is no getting away from that. What I did wasn't okay, stop looking at me like it was. You should be punishing me." I screamed but they still sat there, saying nothing just looking at me. I let out a sign and left for school.

I arrived at school and immediately regretted it, I knew it wasn't going to be easy, after all it had only been a day. I thought I was stronger than this. Everyone was staring, laughing, sneering. People were whispering things as I walked by. That I could handle but what I could handle was the look of disgust I got from Ashley and Tyler when I spotted them near my locker.

I looked at the floor and turned around, walking straight out of the school. I went home and snuck into my room, probably the same way Lucas snuck in that one night. I lay on my bed with my head phones in, not moving and trying to stop thinking.

I didn't even realise what time it was until my phone buzzed and I saw that I had a text message from Tyler. School had finished.

From Tyler:

Meet me in 10 mins at the café.

I sat up quickly, maybe he wanted to talk and to sort this out. Maybe he was ready for me to explain. I put on my shoes and ran down the stairs and out of the house- my parents weren't home anymore.

I ran to the café as quickly as I could and found Tyler sitting outside with a box. I walked up to him trying to control my breathing.

"Hey." I squeaked but he didn't say anything, just nodded in response. We stood there just looking at each other for a few seconds before he thrusted the box at me.

"I wanted to give you your shit back." He remarked. I went to say something but he cut me off. "I don't care about my stuff. Keep it or burn it."

The spark of hope I had, had gone. I held the box in my hands, staring at it and wishing it would catch on fire and take me with it. I went to look back up at Tyler but he had already gone. I sat down outside the café and opened the box. In there were a few items of clothing, just stuff I had left at his but at the bottom lay a shattered frame, glass littering everything, I turned it over and it revealed the gift I gave him for Christmas, all broken and torn up. I put everything back in the box and picked it up.

Once again, I made my way over to Holden's, I sat on the sofa and placed the box on the table. I stared at it, trying to make it disappear and when it didn't I picked up the bottle of alcohol next to it and brought it up to my lips. Letting the burn take me away.

"Are you okay?" Holden asked. I just shook my head in response and then delved into the box on his coffee table, where I knew he kept the weed. I rolled myself one and gave Holden some money for it. Before lighting it and inhaling.

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A/N

Thanks for reading. Quick disclaimer, I am not condoning substance abuse, if you feel like this you should definitely seek help. This is never the way.

Love you all.

~Jadey6688