Happier || M.H & G.D

"I can't"

Lillian pov-

I couldn't see a thing, literally everything was black still. I feel around for something, anything. "Lillian?" George's voice fills my ears. "What's going on? Why can't I fucking see?" I raise my voice in fear, I go to reach my eyes, but a hand stops me abruptly. "Don't do that." George commands.

"George what's wrong with me?" I frantically said, he rubs his hand through my hair to soothe me. "When you hit the steering wheel, you developed a glaucoma. They took you to surgery to drain the blood and fluid, it was in both eyes. You're fine, you just have 2 patches over your eyes to protect you from infection, you also have a wrap on your head. It's going to be okay baby." George comforts me, I sigh.

"So I'm okay?" I ask, he grips my hand. "You're perfectly alright." He complies. "Kamden is going to get your doctor so he can explain everything better. I'm obviously not a doctor." He says, I laugh. "Okay, that's good." I say.

"I look stupid, don't I? You can go home if you want to George, this is probably crazy to see. I'm sorry." I apologize, he scoffs. "That's the most obscure thing I've heard. I caused this, this is my fault, the least I could do is comfort you. I'm your boyfriend Lill, I'm always going to be by your side." He clarifies, my heart swelling.

"Ms. Lillian, you're awake! How are you feeling?" Dr. Thomas asks, I chuckle. "Blind." I sass, he laughs. "I'm sorry about all the bandages, we don't want to risk infection getting into or behind your eyes. You had a major glaucoma from your blunt force to the steering wheel. Luckily, we were able to detect it fast enough to drain all of the blood and fluid out. We will keep you in here for almost a week. We'll do infection control, and make sure your staples are healed properly before sending you off. Also, we'll be checking for brain injuries." He clarifies, I nod. "Thank you doctor, I appreciate it." George says gratefully. "Yes, thank you." I repeat, I hear him walk out of the room.

"Maybe these damn bandages will come off so I can see your pretty eyes again." George says cheekily, I groan. "You're so cheesy." I grumble, he laughs. "I'm glad you're okay Lill, you've got to stop scaring me." Kamden pipes up, I reach my hand out for her. She puts her hand in mine,
I give it a squeeze. "I'm sorry Kam, I'll be more careful. It was my fault." I state, I hear George sigh.

"Kam, can you give us a few minutes?" George asks, I grab her hand harshly. "Actually, I'm going home. It's already after midnight." She proclaims, I internally groan. "Bye best friend." I say, she kisses my cheek. "Bye Lill." She whispers.

I hear the heavy door click, signaling it's closed. "Okay, so don't think I'm trying to start an argument. I'm not, I promise. It's just that every time I say something, you refute my statement. I'm just trying to be here for you." He states, I twiddle my thumbs.

"I don't mean to be like that George, I'm just nervous. I hate that you're drowning in self pity, because I'm stuck between forgiveness and bitterness. I'd rather you be okay than me, so I forgive you." I reason with him, he groans. "Don't say that! You're in a hospital bed wrapped up in bandages and casts, you can't even see me! Please, just resent me, I resent myself. I could've been the reason you lost your life, just because I tried calling you. I freaking distracted you." He cries out,  I'm glad I can't see the painful expression that must be lingering his face.

"I am alive. I can hear the monitor beeping, and so can you. You have to stop with this guilt, I'm okay. Yes, I'm scared and yes you were technically the reason why I wrecked, but I'm okay. If that's what it takes, then yes you distracted me. I hate saying that, but if it ends this feud, fine. I'm okay George." I reassure, when I hear nothing, I begin to worry.

"George?" I call out, he grabs my hand. "I'm sorry. You have to believe me when I say I blame myself so much that it's eating me up, like my stomach hurts so bad." He mumbled out, my heart aching.

"I know you're sorry, I forgive you." I grip his hand harder, he runs his thumb over my hand. The silence was painful. "I love you." He states, my heart racing so much that I could hear it on the machine next to me. Do I know how to love someone? Do I even feel the same? I mean I like George a lot, a whole fucking lot. How could I love someone else? Loving someone has always screwed me in the end.

"I can't."

So like short chapter, I'll hit you with some more soon. Lol I am really bad at writing.

However, you should check out my new book A Change of Heart.