Freckle Stars [MODERN LAMS Oneshots/Shorts]

Pure Angst

TW: Laurens' Interlude [Taking place during the same time-period as Laurens' Interlude]

Cold in my Professions...Warmed in my friendships...

John clutched his bullet wound, digging and scratching at it aimlessly as the pain washed over him like nothing he had ever felt before; he lay on his back in a field, an overwhelming sense of defeat that seemed to crash into his mind like that of a wave...it was over...everything, it was all over...he was going to die, his group of men that he led, they just as well would die, slavery was essentially death in John's mind...So this was it? He was going to die and...he didn't even get to say goodbye...to anyone, to Alexander...

...I wish to you, my dear Laurens, by action rather than word...

Though, John found it comforting...Alex didn't love him anymore, that was obvious, he hadn't said so,

...That I can convince you...

not since Eliza, Eliza...John was comforted by the thought that Eliza was now there for Alex when he could no longer be there for him...but, the next thing he felt was a mixture of things...comfort, and absolute pain as the realization that he, John Laurens, would die here, and Alex most likely wouldn't even know, or at least, wouldn't even care; John let out a weak, audible chuckle at the thought of this, despite this though...he knew he would wait...he would wait for Alex, for all of eternity if that's what it took. If there was an afterlife, John would make sure he'd be the first person there to greet Alexander...

...That I love you...
But that would be a long time...but who was John kidding? ...For all he knew...Alex wasn't going to remember him...

"...Raise a glass to the two of us..."

"It is likely that this letter never reached it to John Laurens before his death" —YeahThisPartIsReal