A price to pay

Xandar

The days after that one were long and boring, time went by agonizingly slow. The nights were hot, passionate and seem to pass in the blink of an eye. Yondu made it clear it was better the rest of the crew didn't know. You found it odd, but life here was so different, you didn't think much of it. Kraglin knew ofcourse, he saw it at his captains face the moment he laid eyes on him.

"So you finally had a piece of 'er, ya dirty old man." He said as soon as he and Yondu where alone in the control room.
Yondu glanced at Kraglin, a big fat grin on his face.
"She happens to love dirty old men, Krags."

That night Yondu came back late. You were waiting on his return for hours. When he finally stepped in, you almost jumped him.
"Wow kitten, you've missed me?" He asked while picking you up and walking over to the bed.
You answered his question by giving him a long kiss.
He sat down with you in his arms.
"I'm sorry babygirl, I had some business to take care of. We're going to Xandar to see a guy for some stuff."
He always kept it vague and you've learned not to ask. But the thought of seeing Xandar got you excited.
"Can I come, please Yondu? You promised I could see the next planet."
He took a moment to think about it while he took of his dirty shirt.
"Sure thang, sweetheart, but only if you're a good girl." He licked his lips and pulled you into another bruising kiss. You straddled his lap and pushed him down on the bed gently. That smug grin was plastered on his face again. You loved his smile, but this smug grin made you feel like a trophy of some kind. A thing to conquer...and throw away just as easily when you're bored. The sex was a nice diversion, but it hadn't changed how you felt. Disposable... Temporal... You suddenly grabbed his wrists and put his arms above his head on the bed. "Girl's gonna show me who's boss, hah?" He asked hoarsely, with hungry eyes. Yondu didn't struggle to free himself, obviously. He wanted to see what happens.
You kissed him roughly, biting his bottom lip pretty hard. He growled, licking his sore lip, while you let your mouth trail over his cheek, down his jaw and onto the sensitive skin of his neck. You could feel his heartbeat in the thick veins under his dark blue skin. You gripped his wrists tighter to keep his hands where they were, lifting your head out the crook of his neck. He looked you in the eye and you saw he hadn't decided what to think of this behavior.
"Yondu..." You started.
He didn't say anything, but his breathing was heavy and his tongue slid over his teeth in his closed mouth. He was on edge.
"Yondu, do you love me?" You asked. He didn't move for a few seconds, just watched you watching him. Studying him almost. Trying to read a single emotion of his face.
All of a sudden he turned the situation around. His wrists pulled free and his big hands gripped yours as he pushed them behind your back in a single motion. He sat up straight, you still on his lap. You were caught of guard and made a peep. He didn't grin or smile.
He leaned into you and kissed you softly, carefully, making sure not to nick your lips or tongue with the sharp edges of his teeth. His kiss made you want him so bad, but you needed to hear him say it. He still had both your hands behind your back, pulling you close to his body.
"Yondu" You panted in between kisses. "Say it. Say you love me and I'm yours forever." His kisses grew rougher and deeper. A grunt escaped his throat and he grabbed both your wrists with one hand while the other one slid over your body, carresing and pleasing every sensitive spot he had discovered the past few days. It was getting harder and harder to think straight. You jerked your head away from him.
The sudden tension in the room was almost visible. "Say it, Yondu!" You told him. "I need to hear it."
He put his free hand on the side of your face, carresing your cheek.
"I'll show ya, (y/n)." He whispered while his thumb touched your lips. He let go of your wrists and wanted to put his hand on the other side of your face, wanted to pull you in for another kiss, but you crawled of his lap and stood up. "No Yondu, that's not good enough..." You whispered softly. He started talking, stumbling over every word. "Kitten, sweetheart, ...I... It's just that... I...I'm not... You're not... I care about ya... But I..." He sighed. "Darling, I'm not much of a talker, you know that." He looked at you, pleading with his eyes to forget this foolishness and come back to him.
"Well I love you, Yondu..." You said.
"I think I loved you the moment you busted through my front door. But I love you for all the wrong reasons and you can't even lie you love me back. Tomorrow when we get to Xandar,... I'm leaving the Eclector." You paused, trying to hold back the tears. "Kill me, I don't care. I'm on borrowed time anyways." Yondu didn't say anything and he didn't try to stop you from walking out the door. You wandered to the control room in a daze, walked to one of the big chairs and collapsed in it, staring into the beauty of deep space through the unshielded window. You almost felt like in a dream and couldn't believe the things you just told Yondu.
Kraglin was sitting in the other chair, curious, but well aware things weren't right.
"What's a matter, (y/n)? You look like you're about to die."
You looked him in the eye. "I think I'm about to, Kraglin."
He raised his brow. "How come? Did ya piss of the cap?" He chuckled, before realizing you weren't laughing with him. His jaw dropped.
"Ohno (y/n), what did you do?"
You started to cry, silently, just big tears sliding down your cheeks slowly. "I'm leaving for Xandar as soon as we get there... If he lets me..."
Kraglin got nervous instantly. "No no no no, not Xandar. He won't let you, you have to stay here." You were confused. "You're saying he'll let me go somewhere else? Why not Xandar, you've made it sound so amazing."
"Listen (y/n), I can talk to him, drop you off back on Terra even, but if you insist leaving for Xandar, I can't help you." He stared at you, bug-eyed and dead serious.
"Krags, seriously, why not?" You asked him again, but he wouldn't budge.
"No! If Yondu knew I even said this to ya, we both be dead! Stay put!" He growled. You never heard him do that, and it shut you up right away. You slid of your chair, crying again and ran out of the room into the hallway. You walked untill you found the hanger with the Milano and the Warbird. You guessed they would take the Warbird and hid inside in a small storage compartment. There you fell asleep waiting for morning.