Contingency (Sequel to Contentions)

~6~

Thank you all for the wonderful comments <3

Brinlee’s POV

“Are you alright, now?” Liam asked softly as he twirled the ends of my hair between his fingertips. “All calm?” I nodded into his chest, swiping at my cheeks to remove the tear stains.

“Th-Thanks for helping,” I mumbled, slightly embarrassed that I had another panic attack.

“Yeah, yeah. O’course, darling,” he said softly before hesitating at his next words. “Do…do these happen often, Brin?”

“Mmhm,” I muttered. “To be honest, I-I’ve never had anyone calm me down before. I typically ended up passing out or something; I thought there was something wrong with me.”

“Anxiety episodes are common with trauma victims,” Liam said lightly, patting my arm in a reassuring manner. “You’re not crazy or sick….just….just scared, Brinlee. They’ll go away with time.”

“Time? So I’ll just have to live with these-these break downs?! I have a daughter to take care of, Liam. If something was to happen and I wasn’t able to protect her cause of this stupid anxiety-“ I started to panic, breath catching as I jumped to conclusions that hardly made sense to myself.

“Okay, you’re working yourself up again, babe,” Liam warned, looking down at me with obvious concern. “You have us to look after Lennox also, and there’s actually quite a bit you can do for your anxiety.” I stared at him skeptically, brow furrowing as I stayed silent.

“I mean, there’s some breathing and mental exercises I can show you, self defense would help you feel more in control, and there’s always some medication you could take if you wan-“ he started quietly only to be cut off by myself, the words pouring out of my mouth in a panicked frenzy.

“No medication,” I begged, eyes wide. “P-Please no medication, Liam.”

“As I said, it’s up to you,” he reassured with the smallest of smiles on his lips. “Absolutely no one is forcing you to take any form of medication, alright? It’s just an option, Brin.” I felt like my throat was dry and swollen, my lip quivering as I nodded. I was being stupid and emotional, but for someone to verbalize that I wasn’t being forced to do something made me shudder with a feeling I hadn’t come near in years: freedom.

“Hey, where’s Lennox?” Liam suddenly piped up making me glance around, my heart leaping into my throat when she was nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s my baby?” I panicked, scrambling off of Liam’s lap and clambering noisily down the stairs, about to call my daughter’s name when I stopped dead in my tracks, taking in the sight before me. Louis was passed out cold on the couch, my daughter wrapped securely in a blanket and tucked sweetly into his chest, her thumb still stuck in her mouth.

“Well would you look at that,” Liam smiled lightly as he finally stopped by my side, a hand resting on my shoulder. “They’re adorable.”

“Should we leave them there?” I hesitated, not sure if waking them up was the best idea.

“As cute as they are, Louis has an early shift tomorrow and I don’t think the couch will treat his back well,” Liam said thoughtfully, shuffling forward and moving to carefully collect my daughter, blankets and all, to his chest. She groaned, rubbing her eyes and kicking her legs in protest, confused at who was taking her.

“Mommy?” she rasped desperately, lips puckering in a precursor to tears.

“It’s just Liam. Go back to sleep, angel; I’ve got you,” he cooed, my teeth chewing on the inside of my cheek as I fought the urge to ‘aw’ at the sight. Lennox nodded and nuzzled into his neck, easily drifting off yet again at the sound of Liam’s steady heartbeat.

“Can you wake Lou up and tell him to go to bed? I’ll lay her down,” he offered with a grin, bouncing her slightly on his hip as he walked up the stairs. I smiled, biting my lip as I watched after them, a soft chuckle jolting me out of the mesmerized state.

“You’re falling for him all over again,” Louis said knowingly from the couch, my blood running cold at those words.

“I’m not,” I snarled, crossing my arms defensively. “Never again, for anyone. It’s not worth the pain.”

“Hun, take a seat,” he coaxed, sitting up and patting the spot next to him. “I think we should talk.”

“You have work in the morning. Goodnight, Louis,” I snapped, about to storm off when my wrist was caught, my body being tugged down onto the couch. I could feel tears welling in my eyes as I grew angrier, my hands hastily swiping at my cheeks.

“I’m not falling for him,” I rasped, lip quivering. “L-Louis…I can’t be falling for him, can I? Not after everything that’s happened!”

“I know you’re scared,” he began gently, taking my hand in his own. “But he’s not going to hurt you… a lot of things have changed since you left, babe. Liam is uh….in a position that guarantees both yours and your daughter’s safety, alright? I can’t go into detail, but trust me when I say that you don’t have to be afraid of history repeating itself; you can love him, babe.”

“I don’t even know what love is anymore,” I admitted quietly, sniffling as I twiddled my thumbs. “My ‘dad’ said he loved me and look how he treated me. My sister said she loved me, yet she still killed herself. A-And I thought Liam loved me and he handed me over so easily…”

“It was never easy, Brinlee,” Liam’s voice chimed in as he quietly stepped in, looking between me and Louis. “It-It has torn me apart inside knowing that I was the one who handed you over to that monster, that I had sentenced you to a life of pain and fear.”

“Then why did you do it?!” I sobbed, popping up from me seat and staring at him with tear filled eyes. “W-Why did you give me to him, Liam? Do you have any idea wh-what he did to me? To my daughter? Hell, I have a daughter! Is that enough to give you any idea whatsoever of what I went through!” He licked his lips and tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling as he let out a strangled sigh.

“I-I can’t claim to know what he put you through,” he swallowed, still not meeting my gaze as he struggled to speak. “But I stand by my decision. And while you might not want to hear this, if I could go back, I wouldn’t change a thing.” I sucked in a sharp breath, harshly glaring at him and stepping back, farther away from him, suddenly feeling a pain in my chest as I realized that I was actually hurt by his words. He would put me through that hell again? He would make me feel it all over again?

“I care about you, Brinlee…more than I should,” Liam said gently, cautiously as he inched towards me. “And while it tears me apart to know that I hurt you so badly, I had a responsibility to my family and I made a decision, one that I don’t regret because my sister is still alive.”

“I hate you, Liam Payne,” was all I could manage, storming up to where my  daughter had been placed earlier, my body slotting into the bed beside her as my rampant thoughts bombarded me.

I hated him with every fiber of my being.

I hated him for hurting me.

I hated him for being so sweet.

I hated him for making me love him…