dance with the devil ✧ DAMON SALVATORE

chapter nineteen

The low rumbling of the engine adds to the familiarity Jordan feels as she sinks into the leather fabric of Damon's car. He wasn't kidding when he said he'd bring her to Jeremy, and Jordan feels as if she is suffocating underneath the tension lacing in the air. Her parents had always told her that she could tell them anything and that she should never feel burdened to voice her feelings. Because her parents loved her, and their mutual love was stronger than every flaw between them.

Jordan knows that it's the same with Damon. She can feel it in any flicker of his eyes to hers, in how he turns the heating up as he sees her shivering, and...something else. Something Jordan can't explain, but then again, some things don't need an explanation. Some matters are better left abstract and vague, because sometimes clearing something up can take all its magic away. She feels like that as they pull up at the Gilbert porch. Once she pours herself empty of bubbling emotions, she fears there is nothing left for the two of them. Because sometimes the road to, is better than the destination; and she doesn't want her path with Damon to end.

Jordan's hand lingers on the handle, ready to open the door without saying anything at all, but something is stopping her. She knows she's not brave enough to be the first to talk; deep down she knows Damon isn't either.

"I hope Jeremy is ok," Damon says. Not that he cares for Jeremy's health whatsoever, but his sympathy might cheer Jordan up.

"I hope so too," Jordan whispers. She opens the door, and again, the arrow springs loose, missing its target completely. Who knew that love could be so tiring? The screeching of the tires enters Jordan's ears as she stares up at her home, and the first thing she notices is the glooming aura surrounding it. It reeks of sadness and despair, and with no lights turned on, it almost looks like a deserted ghost house. The door is unlocked and as Jordan steps inside a wave of weed hits her like a punch in the gut. "Jeremy?" she starts softly, not wanting to scare him away.

Jeremy doesn't respond, but an almost silent sob echoes through the living room. Jordan rounds the corner, and the sight upon her brings tears to her eyes. Lying on the floor is Jeremy, tears streaming down his face. In one hand he holds a blunt, and in the other his phone with a picture of Vicky. Smoke circles the area and his eyes show nothing but hollowness. Jordan falls to the ground, her knees scraping the cold floor. With her remaining strength she hoists Jeremy up. She ignores the violent throbbing in her arms and wraps them around her little brother. "Oh Jer, sweet, sweet Jer."

Jeremy doesn't respond, he just stays numb in Jordan's arms, looking at a picture of Vicki.

Sizzling beams run through Jordan's brain, messing up her logical thinking and throwing her mind into chaos. The truth is beating down on her, hard, and even though she shouldn't tell Jeremy anything at all, she knows that she must. A bond based on lies is not a bond at all, and if she can't even be truthful towards her little brother, who knows who she will lie to as well.

"Jer? I am going to tell you some...strange things, ok? You don't have to believe me, gods, you don't even have to talk. I just-I just need to get this off my chest. You're my little brother, a star that shines the brightest of all, and I love you."

Jeremy looks up at her words, and it is the first sign of life he's given in the past hour. He doesn't say anything, but the closing of his phone and putting out of his blunt tells Jordan that he is listening.

"What I'm going to say will probably sound like a stuttering mess, but that is ok, because the fact that I get the feeling that I can't share it with anyone at all is eating me alive." Jeremy looks at his sister curiously, but doesn't speak up.

Jordan takes a wavering breath, "I am not human," she spits out. "I am not human, and it scares me to death. I don't know what I am capable of and I don't know how this will go."