Fooled (Larry Stylinson) ✅

13. Revelations

*Harry's Point of View*  

I wish I could say that Louis melted into my embrace and that we made out passionately for the next several minutes, our tongues dancing together as we kissed, our hands exploring each other's bodies. But that's not what happened. 

Not even in the slightest.

Louis kissed me back -- he sure did. The sexual tension between was clearly mutual, and way too built up to resist at this point. As soon as I kissed him, he grabbed my jaw roughly and started kissing me, chewing on my lip a little and wrapping a leg around me. 

I grabbed his ass and lifted him up, and he coiled both legs around me as we continued to kiss. He tasted like pinot noire and olive oil and I fucking loved it. I stoked his back gently, feeling his waist through his thin V-neck tshirt. I gripped his ass tightly, nearly sending shivers down my spine as I noticed how firm it was. 

Jesus, I wanted to take Louis home right then and there. I shuddered as he worked his mouth in and out of mine, tirelessly, leaving me breathless and incoherent. 

But then he stopped. 

He stopped and he jumped down, thrusting out of my arms, and started walking back to the train with his hands in his pockets, a disgusted expression on his face. 

"Where are you going?" I called after him, breathing heavily as I still tried to recover from what had just happened seconds earlier. "Lou?"

"Get away from me, Harry. You're sexually manipulating me," he called over his shoulder, not turning around. "You're dating someone else. I can tell by the look in your eyes. That's why you didn't text me for a week and a half. There's someone else." 

I jogged after him, easily catching up with my long legs, and turned to face him, my arms shaking a bit. 

"I... fuck, yeah okay," I admitted, finally breaking down. It felt good in a way, soothing. I normally wasn't this closed off and secretive. I normally knew exactly what I wanted -- exactly who I wanted, and pursued intimately them without a problem, without a care in the world. 

But things had been different lately. Things had changed. And I didn't want to tell Louis because I knew it meant that I would lose him. But maybe that's what I deserved. Because it just wasn't fair to him anymore. 

"I... I'm dating this woman in the music industry. She's a big agent," I said, watching as Louis' mouth twisted into a a horrible grimace. "I know it's fucked up... but Liam and I have been trying to get her to sign us for years.... and we tried so many things to get ahead. Finally, we got her to agree to go to lunch and she took interest in me. She was like playing fucking footsie with me the whole god damn time we talked and then she blew me in the bathroom... I'm... I'm barely into women. I would call myself almost completely gay with a few exceptions. I didn't think it would escalate this much. This only happened a few weeks ago, and we've been waiting for the contract paperwork to go through so I can end this.. I never, ever meant to hurt you. Or to even involve you in this...."

I stopped to take a breath and realized my face was wet. I had completely broken down. I was a complete shit show right now. But I didn't even really care. 

Louis was looking at me like I had just told him that I murdered his family, his eyebrows completely tensed and his eyes glaring at me. Just a few minutes ago I was making him smile and laugh in the restaurant. He wanted to ride the roller coaster with me, spend the night with me, probably -- and now he hated me. 

"Look... I know you probably don't believe me, but it's the truth. I'm sorry I got involved with you while still in this fucked up, immoral relationship. Liam and I agreed that I would lay low for the next month or two until this settlement went through. I had no intention to get with anyone... until... until I saw you at the bar that day and I couldn't resist. I looked down and I saw that perfect face and those big blue eyes and I thought -- fuck. I have to have him. I shouldn't have bought you a drink. I shouldn't have told you I was going to text you and then bail and then come back a week and a half later. I shouldn't have asked you to dinner. I'm sorry Louis... I'm really fucking sorry...." 

Louis shook his head, stepping away from me. "You're fucked up, Harry," he growled. "Were you ever going to tell me this?... if it's even true."

I nodded, my eyes wide and my lips pursed. "I was. I just... I don't know I guess in this fucked up way I thought if we didn't kiss or have sex I could kind of see you and get to know you without hurting you. But I realize now all I did was fucking lead you on," I said, walking after him. We were nearly to the train platform now -- Louis was practically jogging away from me-- and I wanted to vomit my chicken parm everywhere. This was too god damn rough. 

"I was selfish. And I'm sorry. I don't expect you to believe me or forgive me. You barely know me," I said, kicking a rock on the sidewalk as we neared the train steps. 

"But..." I continued, my voice raspy. "If you felt the connection I felt, if you want to give me another chance. I'll be here. I just need some time to sort things out...and I will be honest from here on out. But I'm quite sure you want nothing to do with me now. And I respect that."

Louis bit his lip, tugging at his skinny jeans as he walked onto the first step. He was almost as tall as me now, since I was standing on the sidewalk and he was elevated on the step. 

"I'll have to think about that," he said quietly, his eyes briefly meeting mine and then quickly flickering away. 

Then, he turned away and went back to the subway, leaving me there by myself on the Brooklyn sidewalk, my heart aching and my head throbbing. 

I wish I had a cigarette.