Fooled (Larry Stylinson) ✅

29. Music

In retrospect, I should have combined chapters 28 and 29 but whatever hehe it's another a short one

Harry's Point of View

It was about 9pm and Louis was lying on the couch, fast asleep under the fluffy blue blanket I had given him. He looked so peaceful with his eyes closed — face completely relaxed and his lips looked smooth and pouty. Every once and a while he would roll over or murmur something quietly in his sleep, which I found to be so freaking cute.

I decided to let him sleep it off there, and made myself a cup of tea, browsing the computer while I waited for it to heat up. I opened my email and saw that Liam had sent me a link to the music video. They were finished it editing it and it was up now.

Great. Just great.

Shaking my head, I clicked away. I didn't want to see it. It wasn't me in the video — I hadn't been myself around the band in months. During the recording, I had been a feeble excuse of a person, a fake shell of a person, desperately trying to please others and letting them make decisions for me.

It's not like a really had a choice. Since we had been signed, the band and I lost most of our creative freedom and we basically had to do whatever the directors and managers told us. The eyeliner was an awful choice and I truly didn't want anyone to watch the video mostly because of it. Mortifying.

The music had changed too— the song Rose we had performed in the video had originally been alternative rock or pop rock, but they had sped it up and synthesized it to give it more of a pop vibe, which clearly didn't match our style at all.

I clicked out of my email and opened a word document. I hadn't written a song in weeks, but I was going to give it a try now. I felt like I finally had it in me this time around — I was actually somewhat at peace with myself for once. Because I finally had Lou, even if it was just for a little while.

"You have no idea, but I missed you so much
I was always craving your touch
Your eyes, your heart, your love
But I was never good enough
For you
No ones good enough for you"

I looked at Louis as I wrote, my hands typing so rapidly that my knuckles were turning white.

"I fucked up, pushed you away 
I let you down, didn't give you a say"

My face felt wet. Was I fucking crying? It didn't matter. I kept typing.

"Wish I could say I'm sorry
And it would make things alright
But we both know that's not reality
You shouldn't forgive me"

Fuck, this was coming to me so quickly. So raw, so emotional.

"And i don't blame you for moving on
You had the right, It wasn't wrong
But I'd be lying if I said I felt okay
Because after it all, I want you anyway"

I looked over at Louis who was smiling in his sleep. He was muttering something about nachos and I made a mental note to pick him up some next time I went to the Mexican joint near Payless. If there was a next time...

"I never wanted anyone like this
Time with you is pure bliss
And I'll keep fighting
I'm not done trying
To win your trust
To help fix us
I love you, I love you, Lou"

I took my hands off the keyboard — they were trembling now — and looked at my work.

It probably wasn't going to be our next big hit — it might not even make it into the set list for our next gig. But it was mine. My message to Louis, my apology, my thoughts.

Because there really was no one like him in this world. And now was time to step up my game. Enough moping around and eating ramen and feeling sorry for myself and hating Liam and Sharon and Zayn. This mess wasn't their fault; it was mine.

And If i had created this mess, it was up to me to fix it. I had to win him back. And I would — or I would die trying.

A/N: are you still with my crazy story? I wrote that song myself haha don't judge I am no harry styles unfortunately