Static Electricity | Sam and Colby

Six

For the first time in a long time, Colby is there when Sam wakes up and it's oddly reassuring. Sam doesn't acknowledge the suspicion whispering in his mind, instead savouring the moments as they come. He doesn't know when Colby would slip away again.

The brunette is on his phone and every now and then Sam can feel him shake with quiet laughter. He wonders if his friend is talking to Brennen.

"Morning," Colby chirps and Sam sighs.

"Good morning Colby."

He sits up, pulling away from Colby's warmth, ignoring his best friend's prying eyes. He knows his breakdown caused concern and he wishes he could go back and keep himself together. He'll have to face consequences and fight off questions for a little while.

"I know you don't want to tell me," Colby begins, something in his voice that Sam can't quite identify. "And that's okay, but dude, you gotta talk to someone."

"I'm fine Colby," Sam says but he sounds rehearsed.

Colby doesn't contradict his claim but his blue eyes track Sam as the blond boy moves around his room, trying to fill the gap between the two of them. Colby may be back to normal but Sam is straying further away from who he was and that troubles him.

Sam's always been a peaceful person. Yeah, maybe he has a thing for adventure, maybe he likes to play stupid games that haunted houses, but he is peaceful. Very rarely does he raise his voice, very rarely does he get angry enough to lash out. He prides himself on his control and it's slipping now. He's losing himself.

Something small inside him ponders the possibility that he's afraid of change. He was wary to move into the mansion anyway, got intimidated when he graduated. He'd always tried to keep things the same as they were, tried to keep himself the same. If he's changing, maybe he's not a bad thing, maybe he's just scared.

Sam tells that part of him to shut the hell up and leave him alone.

It's not about him though, it was never about Sam. It's Colby. The cunning brunette that  tricks them all into thinking he's okay. The boy Sam grew up with who isn't a boy anymore. The man that seems so conflicted about his friends and family.

Sam can't take away from that, can't interfere with Colby's life like that anymore. They've grown up  and grown apart and while it hurts, maybe it's for the best. They're all growing apart, they need to accept that and move on.

Sam needs to move on.

Sam needs to forget his doubts.

So he sends Colby away, pulls up older videos of him and the housemates. He watches and he learns and he picks apart his own personality and puts it back together again. He builds himself an identity, layer by layer, until Samuel Golbach is the person they all expect to see.

He goes to his mirror and he practices putting on his new face. His blue eyes flare up with blue fire, flickering and alive. His lips are constantly tilted up, not enough for a full smile but enough to give him a softer appearance. His smile looks authentic, solid, unwavering. The creases on his forehead are gone and he looks young again.

He works on his laugh next, modifying it until it sounds real. He sounds happier, less flat. He already knows his social cues, already knows what people want. He can do this, he can become who he was. He wants to, he doesn't want to be sad.

He goes downstairs, greets whoever is there. He plays Rocket League with Corey and jokes around with Aaron. He talks with Colby for the first time in a very long time and Sam feels better. He was right, he's okay.

He's still not hungry.