Eleven

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Sam wishes he can say that things were better between him and Colby. He wants to say that their kisses had fixed them, pulled their broken parts came back together but he can't. Nothing had changed, not really. If he's honest, they seemed worse than before. Of course, he won't say anything. How can he?

The other roommates catch onto it as Sam shuffles into the kitchen, pale and shivering. He thinks he's sick but maybe he's not so he ignores it.

"What happened between you and Colby?" Jake asks and Sam tenses and says nothing, just grabs an apple and eats. "Dude."

Sam can feel them all watching him and he focuses on the apple, wondering how long he can drag it out before he has to tell them.

"I kissed him." Apparently he won't drag it out for very long.

As soon as the words are out in the open, Sam wants to snatch them back and keep them. It feels like his chest is hollow but it's also too tight. Anxiety is thrumming through his veins and regret is gnawing at his heart.

"Colby's not gay."

It's Corey that says this and Sam is surprised. He would've thought that they'd be accepting of the two boys but maybe he was wrong. When the blond looks up from his hands he notices that the others are staring at him strangely too.

Sam wants to say something. "Colby kissed me first." That's not what he wanted to say but it's too late now.

"Really?" Aaron smiles gently. "You guys are cute. Or...were, I guess."

"Were?" Sam repeats and Aaron shrugs.

Corey is still staring at him, confused. Sam meets his gaze steadily but inside he's wilting. If Corey couldn't accept Colby then Sam himself had no hope of ever being comfortable in the house.

He's just about to leave when Corey speaks up again. "Sam, Colby isn't gay."

"And why not?" Sam snaps. "Is there something wrong with being gay? I'm gay!"

"Dude, Colby has a girlfriend."

Sam blinks. He hears the words and he knows what they mean but he can't quite comprehend just what he should be feeling. The words are bad, he knows that, but his body is acting like nothing is wrong at all. React! He screams at himself. Please! Don't pretend this isn't bad.

He nods and walks up to his room, still feeling like nothing is wrong with his life. In reality, everything in him is burning but he can't feel it, doesn't want to feel it because he's just walked into his room and Colby is on the bed with Kat and they're making out.

Sam turns and he walks and he gets in his car and he drives.

He drives to Brennen's house and he parks and he knocks on the door. He's still not reacting and he doesn't really react until Brennen lets him in.

"He's dating Kat," Sam tells Brennen and the Taylor looks guilty. "You knew. Why did everyone but me know?"

"Colby thought you would be upset. You had dated Kat too."

Sam still can't believe he isn't hurt by the plot twist. "Oh. I wouldn't have cared. He could've kept it a secret. But if he had a girlfriend then why did he kiss me?"

Brennen splutters. "You guys kissed?"

Sam nods. "I thought it meant something."

"I told you to make up with Colby," Brennen says. "Not make out with him."

Sam can't help it when his fist meets Brennen's cheekbone. His body decides for him and he's left to storm out to his car and drive back to the mansion. It's like walking into a ghost house because he can feel echoes of what it used to be like there but all he is now is something he doesn't want to believe is real.

Samuel Golbach is a ghost and it's all because of Colby.

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