Eight

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Their exploration video does great, but Sam can tell that it's taken a toll on the already strained friendship between him and Colby. He wonders how much more it'll take before the storm breaks and they're all washed away. He doesn't think they can hold out much longer.

Days pass and on a cloudy Sunday afternoon, Sam travels back to Miko's cafe and sits with a hot chocolate. He doesn't do much, refuses to touch his phone when it vibrates on the desk. In fact, if he's honest with himself, he doesn't even know it's there.

Two hours later, someone is pulling him up by his arm and there is arms wrapped around his shoulders. Colby's shoulders shake as he buries his head in Sam's neck and the blond boy returns the hug, confused.

"Colby?"

The brunette shakes his head and burrows deeper into Sam's hoodie, squeezing so tight Sam thinks he might pop. But he doesn't say anything else, just lets Colby ground himself and calm his shaking. When he pulls back, Sam's worried to see the redness around his watery blue eyes.

"You can't do that again," Colby says quietly, grabbing Sam's hand and pulling him out of the cafe. Sam opens his mouth to talk but Colby gives him such a broken look that he doesn't actually say anything. It's unsettling, the ride back to the mansion. There's no music, no talking. It's like Sam has his head underwater, listening for something that isn't actually there.

They get home and Sam just wants to go to his room and sleep but something tells him it isn't going to be that simple. Colby follows him inside and Sam so badly wants to say something, wants to ask what's going on but he can't because he can't breathe right.

"Dude, you found him." The rest of the housemates let out a sigh of relief at Corey's declaration and Sam feels something pull tight in his chest.

"What's happening?" He finally manages to ask, his voice thin and strained. The others stare at him with eyes too full of something he can't recognise and he feels sick and he doesn't want to be there anymore. He just wants to go away.

Colby leaves Sam by the stairs and talks quietly and quickly to the others. With uneasy glances, they disperse, leaving the two boys from Kansas. Sam has a bad feeling and he desperately wants to tell Colby to stop, to let them keep pretending.

He can't and Colby starts speaking, each word a punch to the gut in so many different ways Sam finds it hard to be anything but numb.

"You just left," Colby says. "Nobody knew where you were and you didn't answer your phone. What if there had been an accident? We wouldn't have known."

"Colby-"

"We wouldn't have known!" Colby looks like he wants to shake Sam but he also looks tired and Sam is scared. "Sam, you can't just wander off for two hours and not answer your phone."

Sam stares and stares at him, trying to formulate words, thoughts, sentences. He struggles to keep himself steady. "Why?" He dares to ask. "Why can't I? I'm not required to share everything with you guys. I've gone out before without saying anything, nobody freaked out then."

Colby just blinks. "You don't realise it, do you?"

"Realise what?"

"There's something wrong with you."

Sam recoils slightly. "Tell me what you really feel," he snaps bitterly.

"I'm not wrong," Colby says. "And I'm not apologising. Sam, there is something wrong with you."

Sam stands there and he crashes. His thoughts run him into the ground and he feels like he's in a box. There's no air to breathe and there's nowhere to go. He's stuck here with angry words and hurtful words and words that mean to break him apart.

"If there's something wrong with me," he says eventually. "Then there's something wrong with you too."

Colby splutters in front of him but Sam doesn't stay. He bursts through that box and he feels like he can breathe again. He's only breathing in ash and shattered memories but he can breathe.

If he'd turned around one more time, he would've seen Colby punch the wall, tears dropping off his chin as he howled in silent pain.

Sam didn't turn around.

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