Static Electricity | Sam and Colby

Fourteen

He wakes up to a cold morning shrouded in rain and clouds. There's no sun, no colours, no warmth in Sam as he gets out of bed and stumbles into the bathroom. It could be just him but his eyes seem sadder than they were yesterday and he hates that he can't summon more than a dredge of energy.

He seems to be surrounded by a grey haze as he trudges down into the kitchen. Colby's down there and the brunette grins widely as he spots his best friend. Something in his face face falls as Sam barely scrapes a quirk of his lips.

"You good?" Colby asks hesitantly and Sam shrugs. "Okay...Do you need anything?"

Sam shrugs again, reaching for a bottle of water but pauses. "Actually," he says. "You wanna head to IHOP?"

Colby freezes. "Sam-"

"That's what I thought," Sam huffs and grabs a bottle of water, shaking his head as anger pours through his veins. He shouldn't be sad, he shouldn't be depressed. It wasn't him. It was never him. "I've finally figured it out."

"Figured out what?" There's concern in Colby's trembling voice and Sam wants to laugh at how fake it all is.

"You."

And then it's Colby's turn to fidget because finally, finally, Sam's cracked the case. All this time he's thought it was him, that he'd pushed Colby too far and he'd broken everything. He'd thought that maybe this was the end of them and it was his fault but it wasn't.

"Sam, listen-"

"No." His face is calm, but his voice trembles. "No Colby. You've had your time to talk and you never said anything to any of us. So no, I'm not going to listen. You're going to listen to me."

They watch each other silently, Colby's eyes dull and Sam's eyes angry.

"We didn't deserve it," Sam says quietly. "Colby, I didn't deserve it."

"I know," Colby whispers.

"Do you?"

"I do, Sam."

Sam chews on his lip. "I thought it was me," he admits and Colby starts. "Don't say anything. It's my turn to speak now." Colby reluctantly closes his mouth. "You'd become so distant, so shut off. We didn't film things the same, we never hung out. I'd thought I'd done something."

"I didn't mean-"

"Of course you didn't mean it," Sam says bitterly. "Did you even notice how bad things got? No. You were too attracted to your social media, too intent on being Instagram famous that you didn't notice how broken the rest of us were. Actually, just me."

Something was clinging to the back of his threat, something burning and tight. Sam almost couldn't breathe. "Colby, I had nothing left. You were there but you weren't. I couldn't talk to you, couldn't stand to even look at you because I knew I wouldn't see my best friend. Brennen told me to fix you, to make things better. And I tried, God help me, I tried. But you didn't want to be fixed, did you?"

"You can't fix something that isn't broken," Colby mutters. "Sam, I just changed, okay? Sometimes that happens to people."

Ice.

Ice crawls up the back of his neck and ice creeps through his veins and covers his heart until he isn't sure he's even alive anymore. He is frozen, cold, done.

"Okay." His voice is hollow and Colby winces. "So it's perfectly fine that I got depressed. It's fine that I started this downward spiral because you weren't falling with me, you'd just changed." His voice gets louder, by it's still cracked, still empty of everything he wants to express. "It's fine that I lost everything! My ex! My best friend! I lost my happiness, but that's completely fine because I have to accept the fact that's you've just changed!"

"Don't get mad at me," Colby pleads in a small voice. "Don't you do that."

"I'm not mad," Sam sneers. "Maybe I've just changed. That happens to people, Colby." He breathes heavily. "Did our kiss even mean anything to you?" He wonders. "Or was that just a test, to see how much you could change without feeling guilty?"

Colby looks away. "Oh," Sam laughs coldly. "I see. It didn't mean anything to you, did it? You're too busy with Kat to even realise that I dumped her for you. I've loved you for a very long time."

Colby's next words are the final piece, the final dagger to Sam's heart and something in him shatters, taking his lungs hostage.

"That's your fault then."

Sam stands and he stares and he finally realises that he doesn't recognise the person in front of him. He doesn't recognise the blue eyes or the stone cold face. He doesn't recognise anything.

He struggles to breathe as he walks back upstairs and he cries into his pillow when he gets back to his room.

"It's all gone," he breathes to himself and then sobs himself unconscious.