Hues of Love

Part 8

Love.

The one emotion which had brewed storms in their life. The one feeling which meant everything to them but had brought them down to nothing. While one's love had hues of betrayal splayed over and hid under the hazy covers of vengeance, the other's love drowned their existence in a vortex from which they knew no escape.

As they lie entangled in each others' limbs in an intimate embrace under the sheets which reeked of their passionate activities of the previous nights, they appeared to be the two pieces of puzzle which surely fit together perfectly but did not give rise to the figure which was visually appealing. Their desires, their dreams and their wishes would get fulfilled together but in a way that neither would ever want.

While he sought love from his wife and viewed the whole ordeal as a rebound, she wanted her love to be just hers. Fulfilled yet incomplete, their dreams would continue to drive them in a way that would only seek the blood of the heart and tears of the eyes.

Khushi was the first one to rise from the peaceful slumber which engulfed them after years. The sight which greeted her clouded eyes pushed her into reality instantaneously. His slight snores reverberated in her ears as she took in a sharp breath, realizing that her teenage fantasy of waking up beside the man of her dreams, after a night of longing and frenzy romance, had finally come true. In that exquisite moment, it did not matter to her that the means of achieving the moment could be deemed as immoral. All that mattered were the moans and sighs resonating in her heart, arising from two souls synchronizing in rhythm of true and ethereal love.

Khushi's intent staring made Arnav to arise from the arms of Morpheus. Her slightly tanned face with stress lines and sunken black eyes immediately jerked away the remnants of drowsiness from him. Being so accustomed to seeing a porcelain-like face of his wife, who appeared every bit of heartless princess doll that she was , the sheer contrast felt like ice cold water washing over him.

Visions of the previous night made their way into his turbulent mind.

He thought that he would greatly regret his actions the next morning but he had surprised himself by remembering those moments of passion with a deep sense of yearning and palliative refuge. She felt like a soothing tablet, layered with a toxic addictive aphrodisiac, which if consumed once, has the power to compel one to consume it everyday.

He remembered the wave of possessiveness which took over him when she recalled the reason why he was not the first one to claim her body.

----Flashback---

Arnav found himself stilled inside her as he realized that she was not a virgin. Her intense confession of love had tied such strings to his heart that he felt an integral part of him being snatched by the revelation of the situation.

"Shocked that I am not a virgin, Arnav?" she questioned, her determined eyes daring him to accept his judgmental view.

"It's nothing like that," he said a bit too quickly and realized that she had caught his thoughts red-handed.

"I had heard that lust can overpower everything and I tried my hand at it. I thought that if I let myself be consumed by the flame of desire and passion, I would forget you but it was not long before I realized that I tried searching for you in every man I slept with, I couldn't help but wonder how blissful would it have been if it was you instead of a colleague or a friend that I was 'seeing'. So in that way, you were my first and you will be my last," she mused with a broken yet surreal smile and he felt something within him break.

Maybe it was his love for Rati which turned him blind to the one craving for him.

Maybe it was the prejudice and view that her virginity would be the seal of her love for him.

Or maybe, it was the boundaries that he had erected around himself.

Along with the broken loyalty, which could never be sealed again, he was sure that he had broken something else which could never be joined again. He had not broken her hymen, she had broken the crux of his existence which he believed was his love for Rati.

--Flashback ends---

"You don't regret it, do you?" he asked, his eyes involuntarily delving deep into her eyes which were tingling with remnants of pain.

"I would never regret anything that has anything to do with you, Arnav. The last night was the best night of my life," she mouthed hoarsely as she felt choked by the emotions which were wrecking a storm in her heart.

Arnav was the first one to regain his consciousness from the reverie he was lost in. He pulled his arm which supported Khushi's head, trying to ignore the flicker of pain in her hazel orbs accompanying his action. Her words were weaving such a beautiful and enticing web of love that he could feel his heart rushing towards it. He was determined to let affair be a one-time one. He knew that the more number of times he allowed himself to burn in the flame of passion with her, she would get more addicted to him and she would never be able to let go of him.

"It is in the best interests of both of us that I leave now, Khoosi. We will discuss the rest of the proposition when you deem fit," he stated, gathering his clothes strewn across the floor in a wild fashion and moved into the restroom without waiting for Khushi's answer. She, on the otherhand, was aware that anything she would speak would go through deaf ears. She was well aware of his turbulent heart. For someone who had never cheated on his wife despite having multiple opportunities, waking up in someone else' arms after a night of concupiscence would have been nerve-wrecking.

His goodbye was blur to her as she lost herself in thoughts. True to her word, she did not regret the night with Arnav but she surely regretted it that she could not bring herself to regret it. She was his friend, she could have guided him to a much easy path instead putting him through the pain of cheating someone whom he loved more than his own love.

Mechanically she made her way through the restroom and turned on the shower with only the hot water faucet open. She collapsed onto her knees and let the hot water burn through her. Her conscience warned her of a sin on her account while her heart rejoiced the moment which her inner consciousness named as a sin.

She imaged the lord of time and of death on the wall opposite her and her compunction guided her to begin a ritual to erase her sin of not being guilty. Accompanying the guilt was the fate she had written for herself. She had agreed to be the mother of his child if he agreed to her proposition and it was her turn to fulfill her end of the bargain. How would she ever bring herself to give up her child, especially when the child was fathered by Arnav?

She chanted the holy hymn of 'Mahamrityunjaya' as she gathered the burning liquid into the cup of her palms and splashed it across the wall, in the hopes of erasing the inner voice, which in the past prevented her from eying  every committed man except for the one that stole her heart, that voice judged her, taunted her and killed her from within.

After completing eleven chants of the mantra, she allowed herself to collapse against the side wall. Her burning tears merged with the burning water as she wondered if Arnav truly regretted it as much as she thought he did.

Where will their love take them to?