Hues of Love

Part 28

"Love? You love me?" she whispered in shock, feeling her heart beats increase in frequency after months before she curbed her emotions professionally.

"I do," he replied, unwittingly uttering the ceremonial words much like she had in the past. The memory, as he reminisced involuntarily, reminded him how their roles had been reversed over the months.

"I don't believe it, Arnav. You have given me no reason to trust you, in fact, every action of yours only intensifies the wish to distrust you," said Khushi, the pain in her eyes revealing her dilemma and the inner turmoil she was enduring.

"I am ready to do everything to reinstate your trust on me. Just name it, I will make sure that your wish is fulfilled immediately," pleaded Arnav, holding her fingers and caressing them with his thumbs affectionately.

"You have taken away the strength to wish from me, Arnav. I do not dare to wish any more," she answered, pulling her hands away from his hold, trying to control the tears which threatened to roll out of her doe-like eyes.

Arnav held Khushi's forearm to prevent her from moving away. He did not fathom that seeing her so broken and vulnerable would yield him unbearable pain nor did he think that convincing her would be such a herculean task as it now seemed to him.

Khushi did not struggle to free herself from his grip. She could not bring herself to decide if it was because she loved Arnav or it was because the vengeful side of her wanted to see him plead her to return.

"One chance. One chance is all I ask, Khoosi. I won't let you regret it at any cost," he requested, pulling her in for an embrace. He felt a burden lift off him when he felt Khushi's muscles flexing under his arm but it only dropped back onto his conscience with a greater force when her arms dropped by her side once again.

"I don't think I have enough strength to give you another chance, Arnav. My family is angry with me, my friends are angry with me, hell, I am angry with myself. I hate anyone using me to their own advantage! You remember, I told you that I had fallen for you after seeing the sheer contrast between you and the man who has a similar name as that of yours and had abused me? It feels like you have taken away the very foundation of my love for you and you have given me more pain than he had ever given," she fiercely accused, pushing him away from her.

"I thought you would understand and I had your consent. I never thought that it would hurt you so much since it was your condition to spend a night," he retorted, moving towards in an attempt to calm her down.

"I would understand? How would I? Did you tell me, even after requesting, what caused you to switch over? You first convinced me to forget the whole proposition and the associated events, only to come back and heed to the forgotten and forsaken condition? You have no idea how guilty I felt every second henceforth. I thought that I had pushed you to infidelity which is the last thing you, I thought, would have wanted. I cursed myself for not being able to regret it. All that for what? To find that it was a bloody revenge plan? To realize that I had been used? I never wanted you to accept the condition in first place and that was the reason I chose such a twisted request and Rachna knew it too. Who knew that you would turn my attempt at rejecting your request without hurting you or feeling regret into a game plan?" she yelled, venting her frustration of months. She had almost burnt herself in the attempt of calming herself from the onslaught of emotions and she was still burning in the flame of his emotions.

Arnav stumbled back at the impact of her words. That moment he knew where he had gone wrong exactly; he had always assumed things and perspectives and expected himself to be right every single time. He should have realized that he was not infallible when he had heard Rati pour her sorrow out in front of him but he had not paid any heed to it.

"You cannot forgive me, Khoosi, but can you forget Kuhu?" he questioned, eying her shivering form as she looked over the babies playing with each other and relishing the presence of their twin.

"I could never, even if I wanted to. Who do you think is the woman who sent colostrum and mother's milk for Kuhu all these days, Arnav?" she quizzed, her heart melting at the way Kuhu moved her legs in the air and giggled. She had missed so much that nothing would ever compensate and the fact that it was her own decision certainly did not help her conscience.

"No. Wait, it was you?" he asked, surprised by her meticulous planning and her unyielding attitude.

"Yes. I had asked Rachna to speak with Swati Aunty about the same and they extended the same. You thought I would forget the importance of mother's milk in an infant life, Arnav? Even if the doctor in me would have died down, the mother in me would not rest till I ensured the best for my children. That's why I did not want court hearings and the pressure of judiciary to affect them at such an age. The same reason pushed me into taking the decision till you reinforced it with your confrontation with Rati," she answered, the mere thought that she might lose her children, if Arnav decides to file the case against her, tormenting her soul.

Swati had shifted along with Arnav to his permanent residence to help him take care of his infant daughter but she hardly spoke with him, unless the matter concerned Kuhu. It was shocking for him to accept that Swati knew it all along that Khushi had given birth to twins and her plan after that but never thought to reveal the same. He was pained by the fact that the mother-figure in his life had abandoned his side too.

"I know I have hurt you a lot, Khushi. I am ready to make up for every single mistake, rather sin, I have committed. But please don't let the punishment be living bereft of you and your love. You taught me how to love, Khushi. I thought Rati was my first love but you made me realize that I had never truly loved in my life. You will be my first and last love, Khushi. Will you give me the honor of being your husband and life-partner and allow me to fill in happiness in place of every pain I had given you?"

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