i think i have finally
managed to start
hating you.
i think i mean it
when i write it down.
it's not just a coping method
anymore.
and that is what hurts the most,
now.
i used to just think about
forgiving you,
but that felt too much like
loving you,
and that felt too much like
choking on my own breath,
which felt too much like
fucking dying.
so i have to hate you.
i have to loathe you,
at least for a while.
maybe i won't have to
one day.
maybe i will be able to
smile at you and it will be
genuine and kind
and not pulled apart
by a needle and thread.
but for now,
i have to write the angry
poetry and the bitter prose
and i have to want to vomit
at the thought of ever talking
to you again and i have to
ignore you and act like
you don't exist
so that one day
it won't matter that you do.
-c.h.
YOU ARE READING
how the words come
Poetry"this is the poetry that has come from finally realizing it is okay to be okay but also not okay at the same time." ~ 'how the words come' tells the story of overcoming the aftermath of an emotionally abusive relationship. the book is separated into...
