Conflicted: A Reylo Fanfic

Actually Here

"Ben..."

Kylo jerked awake, his lungs sucking in heaving gasps of air as his eyes snapped open. Blinking in astonishment, he didn't immediately recognize his surroundings, confusion settling on him as instinct informed him he hadn't expected to find himself conscious ever again. As his heart beat heavy and ponderous in his chest while he struggled to recall why he should have expected to die, another instinct suddenly had him turning, only to find Rey laying beside him, smiling softly up at him.

With a cry of relief as it all came flooding back to him, he seized her in his arms and pulled her close, holding her tight against him as she returned his embrace. Recalling details of what had transpired, he pulled back to look at her face, which glowed with health and vitality, a far cry from the last he'd beheld. Impulsively, unable to help himself, he kissed her forehead before dragging her into another embrace.

"Ben... What happened?"

Leaning back to peer closely at her once again, he noted the confusion in her eyes.

"What do you remember?" he asked rather than answer, stroking her hair back from her eyes.

She frowned deeply. "There was...something calling to me. And I had to touch it. I don't know why, but I couldn't fight it. And then you were there and you told me not to, but I couldn't help myself. After that... Nothing. I woke up here, which I don't know where here is, and I feel so exhausted, but I don't know why."

Kylo nodded. Having felt the distinct barrier between her conscious and subconscious minds, he'd suspected that much of what he'd revealed to her and she to him would be buried in places she couldn't reach. But, though it was expected, it was still somewhat disappointing. Perhaps, someday, he could tell her some details of what had occurred in the battle for her mind, but for now it was plenty merely that she was here, alive, able to ask him what had happened.

"It was a device designed by one of the Knights of Ren to lure and trap Force-sensitives," he explained. "You had an especially strong reaction to it."

Before he could get any further in his explanation, however, her trio of friends arrived, evidently having been alerted to their consciousness by their voices. Kylo watched in astonishment as, before pulling her eyes away from him and toward them, Rey briefly brushed her hand against her mouth. Recognizing the signal she had devised for the occasions on which she wished to keep his presence a secret by resolutely ignoring him, he suddenly realized she had no idea he was really here with her.

"Rey..." he began, attempting to disabuse her of that notion as quickly as possible, but she gave a firm, narrow shake of her head and pressed her hand to her mouth again.

"How do you feel?" FN-2187 asked as he knelt down beside her, resolutely ignoring him.

"I feel fine," she answered bemusedly. "A little tired... Where are we?"

"Crait," the pilot piped up, eliciting a strong reaction from Rey.

"Crait?!" she cried, rising onto one elbow. "What are we doing on Crait?"

"It was all I could think of. We needed someplace remote and private, but also nearby."

"Why?"

"Ask him," he answered with a gesture in Kylo's direction.

He saw her frown at the pilot, attempting to convince herself that he hadn't actually gestured at the man she knew full well her friends couldn't see. She even went so far as to refuse to turn toward him. So Kylo leaned forward and spoke directly into her ear.

"I tried to tell you..."

Her reaction was immediate and visceral. With a cry of astonishment and near rage, she turned on him.