Conflicted: A Reylo Fanfic

Exposed

Rey drew up short, startled by Cerisse's sudden appearance. She fell back behind Ben as he stopped to talk to her about some order of business that, frankly, Rey worked hard not to pay attention to. As the days progressed, as she grew more comfortable with Ben, the dissonance between what she knew of him as a man and the function he served as an emperor became more and more pronounced. She'd begun to wonder how much longer she would be able to hold those misgivings at bay and desperately wished there were a solution. She loved him so much, wanted to be with him forever, but how long could she disregard her conscience for the sake of her heart?

Vaguely aware of having heard her name, Rey shook the unwelcome thoughts from her mind and forced herself to meet Cerisse's gaze.

"My apologizes," she said formally with a smile that she was sure didn't quite reach her eyes. "I was lost in thought."

"I wondered if you—"

Cerisse broke off in mid-sentence, one brow raising suddenly as a sharp breath made its way into the woman's body. Her eyes suddenly roamed deftly over Rey's form for an instant before her jaw snapped shut.

"—required anything," she finished, as though the momentary lapse had not occurred at all. "I know men aren't always attentive to the needs of women."

"Kylo takes care of me just fine," she stated graciously, resisting the urge to shrink behind said man and hide from her gaze in his shadow.

Cerisse exhaled with a muttered comment that might have been I'm sure, but Rey wasn't certain.

"Is there anything more, Cerisse?" Ben interrupted the exchange firmly.

"No, Master," she intoned quickly, bowing slightly as she backed away from him.

Rey followed Ben as he proceeded toward the lift that would take them to the cargo bay. Once enclosed by its doors, he removed his mask, but Rey hardly noticed, staring absently at the passing lights of the elevator walls with her arms wrapped tight around her middle.

"Are you alright?" he asked, touching her shoulder tentatively.

Rey shuddered, startled from her reverie, and looked up to him with an apology in her eyes.

"Yes," she assured him. "I just... I don't know. Something about that bothered me." She sighed, frustrated with herself. "I didn't like her when I was little, and she's just gotten worse with age."

Ben nodded his understanding and Rey turned to him suddenly.

"What are we doing here, Ben?" she begged him, surprising herself with her plaintive tone. "How long are we going to keep this up?"

She watched anxiously as he stretched his neck upward, turning away from her. She saw the deep anxiety in his demeanor and knew instantly she wasn't saying anything he didn't already know.

"I'm working on that," he told her softly.

"What does that mean?"

He sighed, drawing her tenderly into his embrace. "It means I don't know yet."

But I know it has to be addressed.

Although he hadn't spoken the words in her mind, he might as well have for how clearly his expression conveyed their meaning. Softly caressing the surface of his consciousness, she felt him admit her, allowing her to see what he was feeling. He was fully aware that his two halves were quickly becoming incompatible, and he acknowledged that she had become far more important to him than power, control, order. The problem was not whether or not to extricate himself from the Empire, but how. How could he do so without endangering their lives and subjecting them both to a lifetime of hiding?